Hi Calm Waters,
I have often thought about how you were doing. Thanks for the update. I am sorry to hear the situation with your sons is still so difficult, yet knowing your previous posts it was clear they were dealing with some serious issues for quite some time.
Do you at least feel like your sons have ever shown any true insights into their own behavior? Do you feel like they have ever acknowledged that there might be something wrong with the way they behave and how it negatively affects the people close to them?
I am also very sorry to hear you lost your job. That's tough, especially considering all that is going on with your sons. I too am glad that you have had some help from the NHS and Famanon though.
Of course we love them but we are having to take the tough road to try and get our own lives back.
I definitely understand and it is important that you and your wife are also very mindful of your own well-being and not just focus on taking care of your sons. Though we mostly present and discuss all the tools separately on this site, love, validation, boundaries and setting limits actually go hand in hand. Love without boundaries isn't really love at all and can easily turn into total self-sacrifice.
Take care