Picking a fight to free up time to cheat?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I recently just put two and two together. Forgive the TMI but I two incidents where my gut flip flopped and I was gaslighted that I think may have been connected.

Shortly after I moved in with my ex waif/hermit fiance who has a history of on/off relationships (I thought we were still in our honeymoon period at the time) I got out of the shower one morning before work and when I opened the bathroom door she was standing there shaking and crying, she started raging at me accusing me of masterbating in her house and she would not allow it.

I was dumbfounded, shocked, and taken off guard.  I was only taking a shower.  Anyways, my mind was going a million miles a minute... .trying to comprehend what was happening. It got heated as she emphatically insisted I was masturbating.  I told her she was crazy, threw on my clothes and headed out for work.

I told her I couldn't be with somebody who makes up such craziness and didn't trust my word... .and that I was going to go live with my brother for awhile til things cooled off.  I didn't hear from her for 3 days.

Eventually, she called me asking me to come home.  I told her she needed counseling to figure out what was going on with her to which she responded she already found a therapist... .which I thought was weird at the time.

I came home a couple days after that.  First thing I did when I got there was go use the bathroom.  When I stood in front of the toilet, I noticed a brown pubic hair sitting on the toilet seat.  She's a blonde, and has no pubic hair.  Ive got brown hair, but I hadn't started my business yet.

She's a clean freak. No way that could have been from me from five days prior? My mind started racing again.  I called out to her in another room, "was your sister here recently? (She's a brunette). "No" was her response.  I said from the bathroom, "weird... .why is there a brown pubic hair on the toilet seat"

She immediately answered, "it's yours"

I thought that quick response was strange at the time.  She didn't even investigate the situation... .she just immediately said it was mine.  I then started thinking, it must be mine.  She's probabaly right.

A year later and many breakup/make ups later... .she had a "friend". A couple friends actually.   She confirmed that was was seeing others during our short "breaks"

I just never thought she cheated during the "good" times... .but she was always so secretive and there would be times before we moved in together where I wouldn't hear from her for days.

Anyways, it just clicked with me that these two weird incidents were probabaly connected.  

Anybody else experience something like this? A fight with cheating (suspected or confirmed) afterwards?

[Huh?]

I recently just put two and two together. Forgive the TMI but I two incidents where my gut flip flopped and I was gaslighted that I think may have been connected.

Shortly after I moved in with my ex waif/hermit fiance who has a history of on/off relationships (I thought we were still in our honeymoon period at the time) I got out of the shower one morning before work and when I opened the bathroom door she was standing there shaking and crying, she started raging at me accusing me of masterbating in her house and she would not allow it.

I was dumbfounded, shocked, and taken off guard.  I was only taking a shower.  Anyways, my mind was going a million miles a minute... .trying to comprehend what was happening. It got heated as she emphatically insisted I was masturbating.  I told her she was crazy, threw on my clothes and headed out for work.

I told her I couldn't be with somebody who makes up such craziness and didn't trust my word... .and that I was going to go live with my brother for awhile til things cooled off.  I didn't hear from her for 3 days.

Eventually, she called me asking me to come home.  I told her she needed counseling to figure out what was going on with her to which she responded she already found a therapist... .which I thought was weird at the time.

I came home a couple days after that.  First thing I did when I got there was go use the bathroom.  When I stood in front of the toilet, I noticed a brown pubic hair sitting on the toilet seat.  She's a blonde, and has no pubic hair.  Ive got brown hair, but I hadn't started my business yet.

She's a clean freak. No way that could have been from me from five days prior? My mind started racing again.  I called out to her in another room, "was your sister here recently? (She's a brunette). "No" was her response.  I said from the bathroom, "weird... .why is there a brown pubic hair on the toilet seat"

She immediately answered, "it's yours"

I thought that quick response was strange at the time.  She didn't even investigate the situation... .she just immediately said it was mine.  I then started thinking, it must be mine.  She's probabaly right.

A year later and many breakup/make ups later... .she had a "friend". A couple friends actually.   She confirmed that was was seeing others during our short "breaks"

I just never thought she cheated during the "good" times... .but she was always so secretive and there would be times before we moved in together where I wouldn't hear from her for days.

Anyways, it just clicked with me that these two weird incidents were probabaly connected.  

Anybody else experience something like this? A fight with cheating (suspected or confirmed) afterwards?

[maddy786]

Absolutely, my gf used to fight for reasons like not picking phones before 4 rings, not being online in whatsapp when she sends message and i being regular customer to a whore house. After intense fighting she would say that she needs a break and going to see her mother. but thats not the case though she was having multiple affairs in her office, restaurants we visited, night clubs, saloon and what not. I hacked her iphone, because she was so secretive. She had to know my password but wouldnt tell hers. The things i saww in her was just baffling, i was expecting she would had affair with upto 5 guys but man, she was screwing up 35 guys. Meaning when we had our breaks she would sleep around with 10 guys.

When i confronted this all she said was "Sorry" and left without a trace !

[AustenJ]

Same way with my diagnosed xBPDgf... .she had the password to my phone because I never had anything to hide. She would never give me her password, especially when she started putting her phone face down and keeping it close when she slept.

In our 5 months together, I'm guessing she had 6 different lovers. Just about all of her friends were guys that she had had sex with, and they were all in a big group of friends that she would rotate between the guys... .they all sent her d*ck pics all the time; the ones she supposedly hadn't slept with she had "made out" with--kissing, touching outside or inside of clothing, oral sex, manual sex, watching each other masturbate... .when you shut the bars down at 4am, you end up going home with a lot of guys... .

Usually she only picked a fight when I caught her... .then she would rage... .

sex is her coping mechanism of choice... .She's probably bedded 100+ guys in her 10 years of being sexually active.