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Author Topic: adding a new diagnosis to the kids every year  (Read 364 times)
soundofmusicgirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 179


« on: May 11, 2017, 07:00:03 AM »

So, my ss's are 10 (almost 11) yrs old. One is diagnosed with ASD and the other with disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.

BPDxw (with the help of T from hell) has added: major depressive mood disorder, bi-polar, ODD and autism to the kids over the last year. (yep... that is how "helpful" this therapist has been to my ss's).

We of course don't share any of those views. The kids have also not been evaluated for any of those disorders that T from hell is now attaching to them.

Has anyone experienced BPDx adding a new diagnosis each year?
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Stepmom2Matt

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 20


« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2017, 08:34:26 AM »

So, my ss's are 10 (almost 11) yrs old. One is diagnosed with ASD and the other with disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.

BPDxw (with the help of T from hell) has added: major depressive mood disorder, bi-polar, ODD and autism to the kids over the last year. (yep... that is how "helpful" this therapist has been to my ss's).

We of course don't share any of those views. The kids have also not been evaluated for any of those disorders that T from hell is now attaching to them.

Has anyone experienced BPDx adding a new diagnosis each year?

Funny enough, our problem is the opposite... .in a way.  BPDxw insists SS is on Concerta for ADD, but refuses to acknowledge depression, anxiety, ODD and various other issues.  SS17 stays with us... .he's in therapy and we know what issues he faces.  The depression is the worst and has hit him really hard.  She refuses point blank to acknowledge that he may need help and poo-poo's the idea that he's even seeing a therapist.  "Therapists and anti-depressants never helped me... ."
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soundofmusicgirl
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Posts: 179


« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2017, 12:26:54 AM »

Stepmom2Matt... that is awful! A child needs help.

I have two theories to both our situations. 1. BPDx thinks she is a great mom and therefore the child is absolutely fine and has no mental issues and does not need medication. 2. (our situation) BPDxw can't deal with the children and therefore needs an "excuse" of why she can't deal with them and therefore adds a new diagnosis. She also uses those to keep them completely dependant on her (fear of abandonment) and uses it to try and stop visitation of kids to us.
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livednlearned
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12731



« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2017, 08:49:15 AM »

Stepmom2Matt... that is awful! A child needs help.

I have two theories to both our situations. 1. BPDx thinks she is a great mom and therefore the child is absolutely fine and has no mental issues and does not need medication. 2. (our situation) BPDxw can't deal with the children and therefore needs an "excuse" of why she can't deal with them and therefore adds a new diagnosis. She also uses those to keep them completely dependant on her (fear of abandonment) and uses it to try and stop visitation of kids to us.

I wonder if it is also a form of projection? An interesting form, if it is.

Because if its true that BPD moms cannot easily differentiate between themselves and their kids, and if its true that an inability to cope with crippling shame is the primary feeling that leads to so many dysfunctional behaviors, then wanting to diagnose the kids might suggest she suspects something is to blame for her issues, but she cannot bring herself to admit this directly.

Not that it helps anything if this is what is going on 
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Breathe.
Stepmom2Matt

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 20


« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2017, 08:23:04 AM »

Stepmom2Matt... that is awful! A child needs help.

I have two theories to both our situations. 1. BPDx thinks she is a great mom and therefore the child is absolutely fine and has no mental issues and does not need medication. 2. (our situation) BPDxw can't deal with the children and therefore needs an "excuse" of why she can't deal with them and therefore adds a new diagnosis. She also uses those to keep them completely dependant on her (fear of abandonment) and uses it to try and stop visitation of kids to us.

Interesting theories to both scenarios!  Gosh, but the challenges just keep coming don't they?

Wishing you the best of luck!
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