Please help

[Mickyt84]

My girlfriend has been diagnosed with BPD, bi polar and depression, she is seriously abusive to me, our children and anyone else who does anything she slightly doesn't approve of.
I feel so alone... .I don't have many friends anymore because she has caused problems with nearly all of them and it's only because my family love me that they try to keep a normal relationship with her or she wouldn't allow anyone to see my kids. I could go on forever but her rage is daily... .it's either me, our 8 year old son or our 2 year old daughter who cops the abuse. She hits me often but has slapped both the kids in the face recently and I don't know how to deal with her. I can't talk to my family about it because it's gone on too long and they all think I need to leave but leaving the kids with her I can't do, she would try turn them against me! One minute she can't live without me then the next I'm the worst person in the world. It's draining the life out of me... .what do I do

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Kwamina]

Hi Mickyt84,

I am very sorry you are in such a difficult situation with your girlfriend. You mention her being diagnosed with BPD, bi polar and depression. When did she get these diagnoses? Is she currently being treated for any of these disorders?

Her abusive behavior is quite disturbing and concerning. Do you feel safe around her?

You also mention her slapping both kids in the face recently, was this the first time she did that?

We have some material here about safety first and domestic violence that I encourage you to take a look at. These resources can help you assess your and your children's safety situation and aide you in your further safety planning:

Safety First

Borderline Personality Disorder and Physical Abuse

Welcome to bpdfamily

[Panshekay]

Hi,  I am sorry you are going through this as well. It is so unfair to you and your kids. Are you getting any counseling?  Our son has been where you are at. It's a difficult situation to be in all the way around.  His uBPDW moved out when he confronted her on cheating on him.  He had both his SD and S about 70 percent of the time after that (she was busy partying) but once he filed for divorce she started to make false allegations to CPS/DHS. 9 of them in less than a year.  Is she getting help? 

[Panshekay]

Also I would like to add that I see BPD traits in her D... .she is now almost 12.  Our son has been in her life since she was 2. So that gets to be played in the future with who ever she ends up with. It's depressing for sure.

[Turkish]

Ugh. I can't imagine slapping kids,  much less a 2 year old... .

My ex sister-in-law started smacking her then 2 year old on the mouth.  My ex even talked to her about it,  but nothing changed. In our state,  California,  it doesn't constitute abuse unless marks are left.  Leaving aside the verbal abuse,  has she ever marked the kids?

Domestic violence hotlines are also anonymous.  Calling a number doesn't start anything,  it's just someone with experience who can walk you through this.  Have you thought about calling for guidance and support? This can be a good first step as it sounds like you all are kind of stuck right now. 

What's going on right now?

Turkish