Discovery process

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My DH has twice a week a skype calls with his sons. BPDxw has always actively tried and found ways to interfere with them.
This week she accidentally sent us "notes" she wrote about the call over skype chat. Needless to say it was very interesting (sounded like 13 yr old teenager girl being angry) and I think it will be very useful in court.
One of the main thing in our current court order is that she is not allowed to listen in to the calls. But her notes show that she listens to every word being said.
As these calls have been going on for more than 3 years, I am sure she has a lot more of such fun "notes".
I am wondering wether she can be "forced" through the discovery process to produce these notes?

Does anyone have any ideas? I will ask our L on monday...

[soundofmusicgirl]

My DH has twice a week a skype calls with his sons. BPDxw has always actively tried and found ways to interfere with them.
This week she accidentally sent us "notes" she wrote about the call over skype chat. Needless to say it was very interesting (sounded like 13 yr old teenager girl being angry) and I think it will be very useful in court.
One of the main thing in our current court order is that she is not allowed to listen in to the calls. But her notes show that she listens to every word being said.
As these calls have been going on for more than 3 years, I am sure she has a lot more of such fun "notes".
I am wondering wether she can be "forced" through the discovery process to produce these notes?

Does anyone have any ideas? I will ask our L on monday...

[RedPill]

Hi SoMG,
I'm not a lawyer but my common sense says it will be difficult to force her to reveal more of these personal notes. It's not like it is a public or corporate document with a record that is just buried somewhere. She can always say there are no more and how would you prove otherwise? Subpoena her computer or file cabinet and scour the contents?

My other question is why? What is your end game on this? I've had it drummed into my thick head by other members on this site that fixating on and trying to expose the bad behavior of your pwBPD may instead make YOU look like the vindictive spouse. I understand you; often I have wanted to shine a spotlight on my pwBPD's perceived unfair behavior because it would validate my suffering. Instead, I've been counseled over and over to concentrate on being the best parent I can be instead of focusing on my pwBPD.

Again, I am not a lawyer. Perhaps this is an important issue that needs to be addressed. Let us know what your lawyer thinks and maybe other people will chime in.
Good luck!
--
RP

[soundofmusicgirl]

RedPill I agree with you. Revealing the bad behaviour is actually not the goal here. The goal is to show that she is actively working on alienating the children and that therefore the current visitation that my husband has should be extended.

BPDxw has used the childrens therapist to say that the kids do not like to skype with Dad and that they feel "interrogated" by him and me. The childrens therapist has suggested that my husband gets less time to skype with them and makes him look like he has no clue about what is good for his kids.

The note that she accidentally sent to us shows her attitude towards the skype calls the kids have with their father. It shows that she has no interest in the kids talking to their father. So I think the ultimate goal here is to show how hard she is working to interfere on any communication the kids have with their father.

[Panda39]

That one note might be enough to cause questions in the judges mind.  What does your attorney say?  I would think in court your attorney could question the ex into lying (Yes, your honor I encourage my kids to skype with their dad  ) Oh, really? Can you explain this note?