Are you asking "Why"?

[Hopeful_Me]

Asking why do they do what they do is human nature. Trying to understand - and process - our pain is normal. But when we are in a place of deep distress over the insane behaviors of others, we tend to distort the truth, and if you're like me, take on the blame of the dysfunction. This article lays it out - biologically speaking - of why they do what they do. It is an illness from the inside, not a choice.



May 23, 2015

Its All In Your Head: Borderline Personality Disorder and the Brain

The field of psychiatry is heating up, and neuroscientists are discovering what is going on in our minds in the fog of mental illness.

What makes a brain Borderline? The old adage about two people being on different wavelengths — its true! The diagram above, on the right shows a ‘healthy’ well adjusted brain, on the left the brain of someone with borderline personality disorder. The heat signatures, show for the first time the neurological basis of a serious but all too common mental health condition.

But what do these heat patches actually mean? We begin in the limbic system; all brains have one. It the emotional control centre for human beings, and it is here that trauma, mental illness, and neural circuitry intersect.
Amygdala

The primitive part of the brain which regulates fear and aggression. In the general population it’s a vital tool for survival; even in the comfortable, safe, clockwork cities of modernity, emotions can be lifesaver. However:

    Brain scans have shown people with BPD have amygdala’s that are noticeably smaller than the general population, and may even have undergone atrophy. The smaller the amygdala, the more overactive it is.

This means when people with Borderline Personality Disorder, experience an emotion, they do so more intensely than the general population, and the ‘cooling down’ period takes much longer.
Hippocampus

Latin for ‘seahorse’ the hippocampus is a pair of horseshoe shaped tubes located in left and right hemisphere of the brain. Associated with long and short-term memory, spatial-orientation, and most importantly emotional reactions it is the body’s data processor. This means, when an event is relayed via the visual cortex, the hippocampus decides the correct emotional response. Flight or Fight.

    For people with Borderline Personality Disorder, the hippocampus is in a state of continuous hyperarousal. Uncoordinated and dysfunctional, it consistently misinterprets threats, and relays faulty messages back to the amygdala.

This means people with BPD are more than likely to encounter other people, and the world around them, as threatening, when this very well may not be the intent or the reality.
Hypothalamic-pituary-adrenal axis.

A complex name for three interconnected glands: The hypothalamus, the pituitary, and the adrenal gland all interact with each other. Especially in managing the pressures of daily life and maintaining homeostasis.

    The ‘Hypothalamic-pituary adrenal axis’, is primarily responsible for the body’s production of cortisol. Cortisol is a natural chemical released during times of stress. Studies have shown people with BPD have abnormal levels of cortisol in their bloodstream.

Too much Cortisol production, means stress levels in daily life are always overwhelming. Psychologically, resilience and coping skills are undermined, chemically, the body is overwhelmed.
Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is the pinnacle of human evolution, not only because it’s responsible for reason, rationality and decision-making but because it is also inhibits our primal nature.

    people with BPD have prefrontal cortexes which are inactive and inefficient. This is one of the reasons for some of hallmark symptoms of BPD including impulsivity.

The ‘sleep of reason breeds monsters,’ and with a sleeping prefrontal cortex, even those with BPD will acknowledge that the symtpoms of the condition are often terrifying even from the inside.
Conclusion

Of course this appears a raw deal for someone suffering Borderline Personality Disorder: After all, we are stigmatised with pejorative labels as it is without needing mental impoverishment being added. But heres the twist: The heritability of Borderline Personality Disorder is estimated to be 65%, however, 70% of BPD sufferers have experienced some form of childhood trauma; often sexual, physical or emotional abuse.

    It remains to be seen whether structural abnormalities in the borderline brain, are the cause of the condition, or a consequence of trauma. An indelible imprint on our brain of suffering.

To give just one example of why it is feasible the brain is ‘injured’ by trauma, is in the chemical cortisol. As we’ve already seen, cortisol is released in a response to stress; and so it goes to reason extreme stress, especially experienced in childhood and over long periods of time, will lead to abnormal levels of production. Furthermore:

    The reason for the atrophy of the amygdala and hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, is because high levels of cortisol have literally eroded parts of it away.

This is the cruel irony: The brain is a mirror to life, and if cortisol has chemically eroded the most prized assets of the mind, then this is because stress has eroded core aspects of our lives.

In order to address these startling discoveries about the brain, we need to acknowledge the nature of labels. That BPD is not someone twilight state between sanity and insanity, but a mind that has been worn by developmental trauma. When we aknowledge this then progress can be made. For now, I’ll just have to keep listening to society telling me: ‘Just look at the brainscan, it’s all in your head!’

[roberto516]

This is a worthwhile read. It can help one come to terms with the individual they were in a relationship with. It can help mitigate some of the anger/confusion due to the understanding.

HOWEVER! No one should be "taking blame" for their behaviors. But we all did play a role in a dysfunctional relationship. It can be very helpful to find out what drew one to an individual who might suffer from this disorder in the first place. I hate to use the word "dysfunction" but each and every one of us were not fully functioning, adept human beings who just were unlucky enough to be lured in. There was a part of us that was lured to these individuals.

For me? It was the fact that I saw how my father treated my mother and I swore, subconsciously, that I would treat any woman I was with like a queen as I felt my mother deserved. Then here comes a woman who I had known for a while and who appeared to be "with it". Well she "was dumped" by her ex (who knows the truth) and she was so sad and lonely. Cue in my chance to save and care for a woman like she deserved! When the idealization slowly died and I became more or a parent with it being 99% take take take I thought "All I have to do is keep loving her and she will love me again". Guess who I observed to get that idea? Guess who I observed, and didn't want to see, to know that no matter how much I gave it wouldn't change the recipient to start randomly loving me again.

That's just my experience. But we all have one deep down. Understanding who our exe's are is invaluable. Understanding who we are is worth its weight in gold.

[once removed]

It is an illness from the inside, not a choice.

this is an excellent point. remember though, that most of us are not dealing with someone suffering from a full blown personality disorder, but traits, and even some pathological behavior.

in other words, our exes tend to be more understandable than we make them out to be - most of what we experienced is human nature, but taken to extremes.

it shouldnt be about blame on either side, but it takes some space, distance, and healing to sort out who brought what dysfunction to the relationship, and that is a struggle for many of us.

[AnuDay]

This is a worthwhile read. It can help one come to terms with the individual they were in a relationship with. It can help mitigate some of the anger/confusion due to the understanding.

HOWEVER! No one should be "taking blame" for their behaviors. But we all did play a role in a dysfunctional relationship. It can be very helpful to find out what drew one to an individual who might suffer from this disorder in the first place. I hate to use the word "dysfunction" but each and every one of us were not fully functioning, adept human beings who just were unlucky enough to be lured in. There was a part of us that was lured to these individuals.

For me? It was the fact that I saw how my father treated my mother and I swore, subconsciously, that I would treat any woman I was with like a queen as I felt my mother deserved. Then here comes a woman who I had known for a while and who appeared to be "with it". Well she "was dumped" by her ex (who knows the truth) and she was so sad and lonely. Cue in my chance to save and care for a woman like she deserved! When the idealization slowly died and I became more or a parent with it being 99% take take take I thought "All I have to do is keep loving her and she will love me again". Guess who I observed to get that idea? Guess who I observed, and didn't want to see, to know that no matter how much I gave it wouldn't change the recipient to start randomly loving me again.

That's just my experience. But we all have one deep down. Understanding who our exe's are is invaluable. Understanding who we are is worth its weight in gold.

Im in the same boat.  I saw my mother abused, cheated on, abandoned by different men and I promised that no matter what I would not do the same to any woman that I dated.  In my gwBPD I rescued her after she broke up with her abusive bf.  She said he used to punch her in the face.  She said that her older brother used to beat her up to.  I felt so sorry for her and never wanted to abandon her.  9 years later, Im the one being abandoned for not providing enough unconditional love.