Restablishing a relationship w/BPD S who says I abused him (I did not abuse him

[leza]

I am sure I have UBPD Uptsd - I raised a UBPD S, who also had Abandonment issues from his F (who apparently had some bad issues b/c he was a working alcoholic) since age 1. After S D age 25 leaving a 1 yo S of his own that he proceeded to Abandon... .our relationship became estranged. We had periodic conversations. I was helping the now DDIL care for the grandson-(GS). Now the problem gets real: my S is now 34 & D x 2 & just had a major accident that has left him immobile with ? Recovery (he does Not stay with me). 10 days after the accident I learn about it & go check on him- he initially is cool & gives me details & that he has what he needs. Then he begins attacking me verbally regarding my past & how I beat him( I didn't) he tells me a story that made me sick of the abuse he says I put on him. He blames me for every bad choice he has ever made. I feel he is trying to reach out, how do I respond via iPad appropriately.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[leza]

I am sure I have UBPD Uptsd - I raised a UBPD S, who also had Abandonment issues from his F (who apparently had some bad issues b/c he was a working alcoholic) since age 1. After S D age 25 leaving a 1 yo S of his own that he proceeded to Abandon... .our relationship became estranged. We had periodic conversations. I was helping the now DDIL care for the grandson-(GS). Now the problem gets real: my S is now 34 & D x 2 & just had a major accident that has left him immobile with ? Recovery (he does Not stay with me). 10 days after the accident I learn about it & go check on him- he initially is cool & gives me details & that he has what he needs. Then he begins attacking me verbally regarding my past & how I beat him( I didn't) he tells me a story that made me sick of the abuse he says I put on him. He blames me for every bad choice he has ever made. I feel he is trying to reach out, how do I respond via iPad appropriately. I would like to restablish a relationship but am afraid- he goes into rage very easily when face to face.