My ex wife is now relocating to another country

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My ex wife is moving to another country. She just sent me a text letting me know. I knew it was in the plans but now it's a reality. We have been apart for 8 months now after ten years together. It's a strange feeling. In someways it's a good thing, I have worked on detaching for sometime, trying hard to move forward and letting go. In some ways I feel that I have succeeded. I don't feel the urge to call, text or email, I have been super cool for quite some time.

My ex wife on the other hand has exporadically sent me messages, sometimes regretful of what she caused, as left me and derailed the marriage, other times super keen to restart, a fresh new beggining. I have been extremely cautious and have never gone along with any of her suggestions. I guess as I deep down know that it will never really work in the long run. The damage has been done.

Nevertheless I do find myself ruminating daily and I miss her in my life, despite all the craziness. Why am I like this? I have no idea except to think that I am still deeply affected by her and deeply addicted to her. Can't help feeling trapped in this scenario, never real closure, there is always the re engagement possibility there, its awful really. I know lots of people in this forum seem to be in a similar position. The fact that it can go for years it's the awful proposition.

Such a hard road ahead, sad situation... .

[blueblue12]

My ex wife is moving to another country. She just sent me a text letting me know. I knew it was in the plans but now it's a reality. We have been apart for 8 months now after ten years together. It's a strange feeling. In someways it's a good thing, I have worked on detaching for sometime, trying hard to move forward and letting go. In some ways I feel that I have succeeded. I don't feel the urge to call, text or email, I have been super cool for quite some time.

My ex wife on the other hand has exporadically sent me messages, sometimes regretful of what she caused, as left me and derailed the marriage, other times super keen to restart, a fresh new beggining. I have been extremely cautious and have never gone along with any of her suggestions. I guess as I deep down know that it will never really work in the long run. The damage has been done.

Nevertheless I do find myself ruminating daily and I miss her in my life, despite all the craziness. Why am I like this? I have no idea except to think that I am still deeply affected by her and deeply addicted to her. Can't help feeling trapped in this scenario, never real closure, there is always the re engagement possibility there, its awful really. I know lots of people in this forum seem to be in a similar position. The fact that it can go for years it's the awful proposition.

Such a hard road ahead, sad situation... .

[Mutt]

Hi Raul,



Why are you like that? Your ex wife wanted to end the r/s and then clean the slate and restart the r/s. You have a long history together, I'm going to wager that this on and off again or push / pull behaviour was going on for some time? It's normal to feel this after having been on an emotional roller coaster, it's going to take a little time to find your footing.

[blueblue12]

Thanks Mutt, you are exactly right, the emotional roller coaster, it's nuts! I did one recycle where upon she was fantastic... .for a day! Then the ugly, argumentative side came back once more, she can't help it really. It is a confused state, it is the real 'I love you, go away, not too far, come back' scenario, it's so hard when you are the one that has to cope the treatment, the novelty of it wears off very quickly and as painful as it is, you just have to stay away... .yes I certainly need more time. One thing for sure this time around I do not want to see her anymore, no meetings one on one, way too painful and she has got the charm, you can fall in the trap in a second, so it is too hard.