Kind've confused about being with my pwBPD

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi there. I've read a couple posts to try and see if anyone else was having stuff real similar to my situation, and I'm sure if I dug enough I'd find it, but I also just want to get into the post and go from there.

So, my pwBPD is my girlfriend. I'm male, FYI. She was just officially diagnosed with BPD about a month ago now. Prior to that, she's been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD as well.

She had medication already prior to being diagnosed with BPD, to help deal with depression because that's another diagnosis. Unfortunately she forgets to take it a lot, she can easily lose track of things and it happens very frequently. Either forgets where things like keys, or cards or wallet are, or just forgets to take the medicine at the time she wants to take it and then she feels like it's too late now, so she doesn't take it.

She's got some more medicine in addition since being diagnosed with BPD, but again, is bad about taking it.

So that's been frustrating, because when she was taking her medicine regularly, it seemed she was more emotionally leveled and harder to send in a spiral, so to speak.

But ever since I met her, back in February of this year, it's always been something. It feels like every other week and sometimes multiple times in 1 week, there's a new crisis. Used to be her old roommates not paying their fair share or never cleaning (though her room is always a dire mess. She does occasionally clean it and make it good but it doesn't last more than a day), or her landlords refusing to fix things, or neighbors mysteriously singling her out and cutting off the start-up chord to her lawnmower (yes that actually happened) or trying to pry open her car door with a crowbar, or her job playing with her emotions about promoting her or firing her, about people stabbing her in the back... .

And nothing has really changed. Her life is pretty much always in crisis mode, or about to be in crisis mode. And I really love her, she's wonderful most of the time when she's not having a breakdown, but they've become a lot more frequent since her diagnosis, and I am beginning to question if this is right for me or not. She yelled at me for the first time this past Wednesday, and it seems like her anger in the last week and a half has just ramped up big time at everyone.

It's gotten progressively harder as she keeps telling me that she doesn't feel like we spend enough time together, and that she wants me to move in with her. About a month ago, I took her out to eat and she tried to convince me to move in with her in her current apartment. Aside from me not being ready, I don't like the situation at all, I feel like it'd be really bad in the long run for multiple reasons, like lack of space, the not so great quality of the apartment, etc. She has kept bringing it up here and there as a point when she's going through rough times (which is pretty much all the time) as a "I don't trust anyone else and you won't live me with me because I'm too much to handle" type of phrase. At one point she even said she was going to just have to take her daughter and go to a homeless shelter if I didn't move in, which... .I didn't move in and I told her it felt like trapping me to do it by saying something like that.

I don't know how to handle things like this. Are there any strategies people can suggest for this type of behavior?

[Noshimo]

Hi there. I've read a couple posts to try and see if anyone else was having stuff real similar to my situation, and I'm sure if I dug enough I'd find it, but I also just want to get into the post and go from there.

So, my pwBPD is my girlfriend. I'm male, FYI. She was just officially diagnosed with BPD about a month ago now. Prior to that, she's been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD as well.

She had medication already prior to being diagnosed with BPD, to help deal with depression because that's another diagnosis. Unfortunately she forgets to take it a lot, she can easily lose track of things and it happens very frequently. Either forgets where things like keys, or cards or wallet are, or just forgets to take the medicine at the time she wants to take it and then she feels like it's too late now, so she doesn't take it.

She's got some more medicine in addition since being diagnosed with BPD, but again, is bad about taking it.

So that's been frustrating, because when she was taking her medicine regularly, it seemed she was more emotionally leveled and harder to send in a spiral, so to speak.

But ever since I met her, back in February of this year, it's always been something. It feels like every other week and sometimes multiple times in 1 week, there's a new crisis. Used to be her old roommates not paying their fair share or never cleaning (though her room is always a dire mess. She does occasionally clean it and make it good but it doesn't last more than a day), or her landlords refusing to fix things, or neighbors mysteriously singling her out and cutting off the start-up chord to her lawnmower (yes that actually happened) or trying to pry open her car door with a crowbar, or her job playing with her emotions about promoting her or firing her, about people stabbing her in the back... .

And nothing has really changed. Her life is pretty much always in crisis mode, or about to be in crisis mode. And I really love her, she's wonderful most of the time when she's not having a breakdown, but they've become a lot more frequent since her diagnosis, and I am beginning to question if this is right for me or not. She yelled at me for the first time this past Wednesday, and it seems like her anger in the last week and a half has just ramped up big time at everyone.

It's gotten progressively harder as she keeps telling me that she doesn't feel like we spend enough time together, and that she wants me to move in with her. About a month ago, I took her out to eat and she tried to convince me to move in with her in her current apartment. Aside from me not being ready, I don't like the situation at all, I feel like it'd be really bad in the long run for multiple reasons, like lack of space, the not so great quality of the apartment, etc. She has kept bringing it up here and there as a point when she's going through rough times (which is pretty much all the time) as a "I don't trust anyone else and you won't live me with me because I'm too much to handle" type of phrase. At one point she even said she was going to just have to take her daughter and go to a homeless shelter if I didn't move in, which... .I didn't move in and I told her it felt like trapping me to do it by saying something like that.

I don't know how to handle things like this. Are there any strategies people can suggest for this type of behavior?