Both kids with BPD?

[dubiousraves]

Well I have just fallen down the rabbit hole of parental guilt again.

My 20 year old BPD daughter was finally diagnosed last year after being treated ineffectively for depression, self harm and an eating disorder. She got intensive outpatient treatment and is doing better. She's back in college part-time, going to DBT group and therapy. She still struggles with smoking too much weed and difficult interpersonal relationships but we communicate so much better now and she wants to get better.  I thought we were out of the woods and the family would finally reach a balance.

Well once my older daughter started to stabilize my younger one, age 17, completely fell apart. She became depressed, suicidal, smoked weed as soon as she got up in the morning, couldn't get out of bed. We finally had to hospitalize her for a week to keep her safe and detox from the cannabis. She will now attend the same IOP that my older daughter did.

The therapists in the hospital told me that my younger one had emerging borderline traits and should receive treatment focused on this.

How did this happen? What the hell did we do wrong to have both kids with BPD? I have residual PTSD after treatment and my husband has dysthymia so we are not perfect and certainly we made mistakes but we loved them and did our best.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mutt]

Hi dubiousraves,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear about your D17 but it's good that it was caught now and she's getting help rather than later in life.  

BPD can be caused by genetics, the environment that the child grew up or sometimes it can caused by a traumatic event.

What the hell did we do wrong to have both kids with BPD?

Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault.

PS The lessons are on the right side of the board    --------------------------------->