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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Introducing myself  (Read 450 times)
Pencil sketch
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 206


« on: October 22, 2017, 09:13:16 AM »

Hi, I am so relieved to have found this haven, for the first time in 2 yrs, I can finally say, it wasn't all me, I didn't imagine it.
I am 5q yrs old, and have just come out of a LDR with another woman, who I now believe had BPD ( or at the very least, traits)
After many weeks, of silent treatment, circular arguments, promises.of friendships, me, trying to explain myself, I changed my number, and have been NC for 6 days.
It's torture, the desire to contact her, is unbearable. I have taken comfort, from some of the wonderful posts on here, but have little faith, in my own ability.
Any words of encouragement, would be great
Thanks in advance
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Harley Quinn
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2017, 01:55:53 PM »

Hi Pencil sketch and Welcome! 

It is great you found us.  As you've stated, there are many people here in similar situations and a great wealth of knowledge to be found on the site. 

So soon after the breakup you are no doubt in a great deal of pain.  Have you recycled the relationship before or is this the first breakup?  It's very fresh and it would be good to think about learning more about BPD and understanding what is involved in having a relationship with someone with BPD/traits of, before you make any firm decisions.  Many members have recycled their relationships, some multiple times.  Having knowledge can give you opportunities to change the way things go between you if any contact resumes.  There are great lessons on Improving which would arm you with communication skills to smooth the way, whichever direction you go - and are useful life skills to use with other relationships, including the one with yourself.

Could you describe the traits you experienced with your ex that lead you to believe she may have BPD?  What were the difficulties in your r/s?

Things can and do get better so keep posting and read all you can here.  We will support you through this difficult time.

Love and light x   
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