He's developing new symptoms after reading Rx side-effects

[Jessica84]

uBPDbf is on Wellbutrin for depression. He is convinced it is making him sick now, but won't try something new because it "works". He tried Prozac and some other drug, but said they made him feel vacant and fuzzy-minded. So now he's afraid to try anything else.

He's having brand new symptoms now. I get to hear all about his bowel movements.    Claims it's causing constipation, gas, bloating. He's started doing really stupid things to try to relieve himself... .like drinking milk or eating cheese before bedtime (he's lactose-intolerant).

Of course, he won't tell his doctor ANY of this because he's worried he will change his meds.

Anything I can say to gently persuade him to tell his doctor, or try another med? I mentioned Effexor, but he wouldn't even look it up. He looks up everything! I can't force anything on him. Is there nothing more I can do but watch him digest milk, cheese, coffee, Tums, laxatives, Gas-X... .    and listen to him belly-ache? (literally!)

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[isilme]

My H gets weird about new meds and drugs, too.  I read all the side effects but do not share them with him.  Lucky for me, he rarely seems to look them up.

Yes, any weird ache, body activity, anything new or that he thinks is odd is chalked up tot he medication.  And he is bad about asking about alternatives if one is needed, or feeling like trying something new. 

I think BPD makes people prone to almost hypochondria, or exaggerated symptoms of any kind.  Maybe. 

I try to validate the feelings that he is expressing, and then find ways to deal with the "side effects".  Like I encourage the intake of fiber if it seems needed, by buying food with higher fiber or even supplements.  I might even go as far as to take things myself, almost like an adult eating baby food to entice a child to eat. 

I think overall you might need to bear it for a while, and either he will hit a point where he's tired of it, or more receptive, or he will listen better.  Just try to avoid mentioning it for a while.  Being perceived as nagging is one way to make them do the exact opposite of what you hope.

[CryWolf]

hey I work at a pharmacy, and I would have him call the pharmacist and explain the symptoms and ask for his opinion first before notifying the doctor. usually patients consult the pharmacist first because they have better judgement with prescriptions than the doctor in my opinion.

I am lactose too and those noises are not the business. sounding like ww2 

[Jessica84]

Thanks! Good advice. This started recently when he looked up Wellbutrin. Now he's having ALL the side effects. This morning... ."well, the headaches have started"... .Omg. It's almost funny. (almost)

He called me 3 times today asking ME about his meds. Did I see him take one? Do I remember him talking about it this morning? Do I know what time he normally takes it?

Me: uhhhhh... .?

I'm not good at this. Was I supposed to know? I don't take ANY medication - ever. I grew up that way. I've also never taken care of anyone - never had kids, am youngest sibling... .so I have zero experience with meds, side effects, or even basic caretaking skills. 

[CryWolf]

Thanks! Good advice. This started recently when he looked up Wellbutrin. Now he's having ALL the side effects. This morning... ."well, the headaches have started"... .Omg. It's almost funny. (almost)

He called me 3 times today asking ME about his meds. Did I see him take one? Do I remember him talking about it this morning? Do I know what time he normally takes it?

Me: uhhhhh... .?

I'm not good at this. Was I supposed to know? I don't take ANY medication - ever. I grew up that way. I've also never taken care of anyone - never had kids, am youngest sibling... .so I have zero experience with meds, side effects, or even basic caretaking skills. 

hmm. I think maybe you should get him a little journal or notepad where he can take notes of when he took his meds and write the times to better help him regulate. I feel like he may be a little paranoid and be a bit hypochondriac toward his medication. Its normal sometimes to be fearful of new meds and having a "placebo effect".

If he is asking if you saw him take one, try to be as validating as possible. it might cause a blow up and him saying 'wow you dont care about me" or etc. Just a possibility. His anxiety also seems heightened.

[isilme]

A journal is good if he will maintain it, or maybe an alarm on his phone to remind him.  I am still the main "alarm" to be sure H takes his diabetes medication.    I keep a series of my own notes about when things happen or when he seems to have a reaction to something.  He never wants to keep one but then asks me "when did I have a kidney stone?"  So, it helps ME in the long run to just jot it down.

Another thing is to use those day-of-the-week pill sorters and make him sort them into the container on Sunday and then if the pill is missing a few hours later, hopefully, it's because he took it.

[CryWolf]

To add on to slime's post,

I believe there are some apps on the phone to take medications. like a pill planner app? i know my exBPD used to have an app for her monthly cycle of TOM (time of the month).

[Jessica84]

Crywolf - A journal! Yes, thank you. I will suggest that. He lives on his phone and uses the note feature for lots of things. That is a great idea. He won't use an alarm reminder though. I suggested that for his foot - he is supposed to stretch it once an hour. He hasn't. But a digital journal, he might. He might also feel better talking to his pharmacist. He's friendly and always joking around with him.

islilme - Good idea. He takes his vitamins every morning in a pill-a-day thingy. I can suggest he include a Wellbutrin. Unless he's supposed to take that one at night... ? And like yours, he also expects me to remember all these details... .when he went into the hospital, for what, what he's on, when he started or stopped, how he reacted, I've even been asked "did I like that doctor?"... .maybe I should start keeping my own journal to keep track of all this.

Thanks for all the tips!