He just made a suicide threat/has device ready

[Depression = 72% of members]

Oh pearlsw     

I'm sorry to hear about new course of the situation. Last time I checked this forum, your situation was looking up and you sounded so hopeful. What changed in the meanwhile?

What is causing his so much stress? Have you tried validating?
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

his mood swings. inability to manage his thoughts/moods. the usual stuff. i knew he wouldn't make it long after my return... .but it fools me, still, every time... .that he can be "normal". he can't. he simply can't. sigh.

[pearlsw]

Oh pearlsw     

I'm sorry to hear about new course of the situation. Last time I checked this forum, your situation was looking up and you sounded so hopeful. What changed in the meanwhile?

What is causing his so much stress? Have you tried validating?
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

his mood swings. inability to manage his thoughts/moods. the usual stuff. i knew he wouldn't make it long after my return... .but it fools me, still, every time... .that he can be "normal". he can't. he simply can't. sigh.

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[Harley Quinn]

Pearls what's the situation now? Who did you contact? I just came across your thread and wanted you to know I've been in your situation and above all else keep yourself safe physically and emotionally by having support established and a plan of action for when this happens again. The anxiety that is provoked at these times is just awful. I really feel for you   Which is why you must be prepared now for what you will do when this occurs.

Once I had a network in place and knew the steps to follow it was more manageable and the crises were reduced in duration as I didn't hesitate to act. It also showed my ex that I would not be taking responsibility on myself to cope alone with the situation, instead putting it in the hands of the professionals who are trained to deal with people in his condition.

He would regularly make threats and then disappear saying he didn't want to be found or stopped. At first I would panic and try to contact him, even getting in my car to go search for him but when I began to call the police straight away I felt so much less desperate and knew they do this as part of their job so they have the resources I don't. They were very reassuring which helped enormously. I'm not sure I would have gotten through that time without them.

What happened to the device? Can you describe it and is it something he can recreate quickly? I disposed of so many methods and whilst he could go and find replacements at least he didn't have what he needed right there to hand. Regardless of his motivation for this behaviour we need to be safeguarding him and yourself as he is not able to make good decisions when he is dysregulated. Keep us posted and let us know how you are 

Love and light x

[flourdust]

Here's what you wrote yesterday... .

i just hope it doesn't get to a point of him being homicidal instead of suicidal. no signs of  this yet. but i should keep wary.

I not sure whether it is a good idea or not to tell his family. I don't want to add to the drama, but I don't want to miss a chance to help either.

"He might kill me ... .but I don't want to bother anyone."

This is deep-in-the-FOG thinking. Please don't be a victim. Protect yourself.

[pearlsw]

Hi folks,

Sorry to worry ya! I can't always log in here. By the next morning, after an exceptionally rough day, his mood altered dramatically. He came to me and apologized, then put pressure on me a bit, then broke down a bit. He is back to being clingy, wanting closeness. He listened to my emotions/feelings a bit, but then he has to stop. It is too much for him... .I got him to describe to me what has been going on in his brain this week... .He described his trigger and then how his brain changed. He described the peak of it and how he "feels crazy" and is ashamed of how he behaves, etc.

He was suddenly, again, "willing to do anything" for me... .He immediately called his doctor back and rescheduled his appointment for next week. He says he knows something is wrong with him and with his brain and he wants help, etc. He is afraid I'll leave him, etc.

My goal now is just to make it to the day of his appointment. He's asked me to help him explain to the doctor what I've observed. He is afraid he could be committed to a hospital. He himself can't believe I haven't left him.

I'm safe. That day he was not well, he is still not well, but he can see that he is back to baseline. He has told people that he'd kill himself before ever harming me. He realizes he harmed my family and me that day, not physically, but by not controlling his impulses. My family members calmly encouraged him also to get some help. We'll see... .each day has a lot of hours in it to dysregulate before that appointment happens, if it does.

- pearl.

[pearlsw]

What happened to the device? Can you describe it and is it something he can recreate quickly? I disposed of so many methods and whilst he could go and find replacements at least he didn't have what he needed right there to hand. Regardless of his motivation for this behaviour we need to be safeguarding him and yourself as he is not able to make good decisions when he is dysregulated. Keep us posted and let us know how you are 

Love and light x

Hi HQ! Thanks so much for the support!  The device is out of site. I'm keeping a close eye on him and staying positive. Wish I could get him to the doctor sooner, but the earliest, short of an emergency room is Tuesday. Hope we make it that far! He is back at baseline now. warmly, pearl.

[pearlsw]

Oh pearlsw      

I'm sorry to hear about new course of the situation. Last time I checked this forum, your situation was looking up and you sounded so hopeful. What changed in the meanwhile?

What is causing his so much stress? Have you tried validating?
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

thanks for your sweetness! much appreciated!    

[pearlsw]

today his mood crashed again. doing all i can to protect and stabilize him until his medical appointment.

[DaddyBear77]

today his mood crashed again. doing all i can to protect and stabilize him until his medical appointment.

Hey Pearls - just checking in to see how things are going - I think you mentioned that today (Tuesday) was the day for his medical appointment?

[pearlsw]

i know the doctor visit is just a step. and maybe one that won't amount to anything if he can't take all the steps he'd need to afterwards. with his inconsistency, broken promises, lies and tricks... .i'm not betting on this... .and if it does i'm still stuck with the memories of what i've been through all these years... .

the device is away and he hasn't asked for it... .though he could fashion one quickly i guess... .

poor guy. he's still trying so hard to find work... .it all breaks my heart... .

[pearlsw]

the trip to the doctor today triggered some low level PTSD symptoms from my childhood related to doctor's offices. ugh. but i got it under control. it felt pretty heavy to be going through this diagnosis process with someone. the doctor, for some reason, was pretty rude and yelled at me. why? i am going with language misunderstanding as the three of us in the appointment were speaking 3 different languages at once. anyway, one step down, on to the next step if he can stay constant enough to get to tomorrow... .

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Pearls,

What was the outcome of the appointment?  What happens next?  How did H handle the whole thing?

Love and light x