New here- No reserve left - cut off once again, this time from 10 month GS

[LovesRose]

I hope to find help here to nurture a healthy relationship with my adult daughter.
I am cut off once again, but now am also cut off from my baby grandson.  My husband stepped in to stop the verbal onslaught I was getting( not first time, but this time more vicious than usual). That was it, she packed up and moved out to the father’s mother’s house. This is the third place she’s lived in in the 10 mos of my grandsons life.im grateful they are in a safe place.
I’m  doing research now on how to change my behavior. Thank you for any insight and help you can offer.
I love them both so much and know she is suffering.
Thank you

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi LovesRose 

Welcome to the bpdfamily, all of us here are dealing with our BPD children who often cause us so much pain and grief despite how much we love and care for them.  I commend you on recognising her suffering while you are hurting, great insight.   It is most particularly difficult when there are grandchildren involved and I can totally relate to how you must be feeling.  

My DD27 cut me off a few months ago after a violent rage/verbal abuse and left our state to go back to our home town with my GD1 to live with her father.  I've had no contact since. 

I've found wonderful people here who have encouraged my learning of BPD; as you suggest below you are already researching which is great credit to you.    There are also many resources available here for you to engage in at your own pace.  It's also great to speak with others who can really relate to what you are going through. 

How old is your daughter?  Do you have people/friends around that can also support you?

Take care of yourself, our own mental health is also very important in being able to weather the storms of BPD.  Keep coming here and sharing your story, we are here to help.  Merlot :-)

 


 

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome LovesRose! 

I'd like to join Merlot in saying how glad I am that you've joined us here. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us in your first post. Merlot has offered great words of wisdom, especially in speaking from her own experience. 

My D29 struggles with emotional regulation, and I've had to learn how to do as you mentioned, "nuture a healthy relationship" with her. It is hard. For a long time I was afraid to even disagree with her because I knew I'd bear the brunt of her anger and displeasure. Now I am doing so much better in speaking truth with her in love. Not easy, but as I am becoming more 'care-full' of myself, I'm settling into deeper care for her and strength within myself. You will get there too. It takes time but you are on the journey because of your great love for her. 

 
Wools