Living in Secret

[KS22]

I am new to this format and desperate to be “seen”.  I feel like i live with this terrible secret that no one understands.  My daughter suffers from mental illness, but it is hidden.  I have battled, researched, been to every therapy you can think of, dealt with hospitalization, cutting, suicide attempt, rage, anger, breaking things, threats, accusations, cruelness, meanness and often scary moments.  I have three other kids that live in this toxic environment, but no one knows.  I mean family and a few friends have been told, but no one really understands. I feel alone.  Even therapists have little to offer.  Give this pill or try this therapy.  The mental illness is so complicated, so complex.  I am tired and losing hope.  I have grieved what my sick child will never be or have.  I grieve what my other kids have had to endure.  I feel like if we were sick with cancer we would be seen, but because it is mental illness it must mean we are broken or at fault somehow.  This is a terrible, silent world. My daughter suffers, too.  It is all too much.  I am heartbroken.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Insom]

Welcome, K.!

I hear how hard this is and can relate very much to feeling heartbreak on behalf of a family member who is suffering.  You are not alone!  Hugs. 

This forum is a great place to get information, ask questions and connect with people who can relate to what you're going through.  I've found it super-helpful for getting feedback on specific issues.

It sounds like you're working hard to hold it together for your family's sake.  What sort of support do you have?   Is there anyone in your court you feel you can talk openly with about how you are feeling?

[wendydarling]

Hi there KS22

I'd like to join Insom welcoming you to the community. Oh my KS22, my heart goes out to you, you are doing your very best, it's so darn difficult when we can't see progress, just a little ray of light and I hope we can help you find that ray of light, hope. You've definitely landed in the right place for understanding - there are no secrets here, parents here get it and can support you, you are not alone.   

How long have you been dealing with your daughter's disorders, how old are your kids?

Hugs to you 

WCx