I just don't know what to do. I cry every day.

[HypnoticGuy]

To get to this page I was supposed to choose from this list:

I'm in a romantic relationship: This is what I chose, because I either want to, or know I should choose one of the others, but I couldn't decide.

... .needing guidance to improve it - I wish this was possible, but I fear it's way too late.

... .trying to reverse/avoid a break-up - I sure wish this was possible too, but I think there's no hope. 

... .that I should leave - We are separated.  We barely speak.  I should quit hanging on to hope, but she was so perfect when we got together. I know this is typical of BPD relationships and I should move on, but I can't help the way I felt about her.

... .that is clearly over and I need support - I probably need to admit this to myself, but it's so hard. I feel like I've been run over by a truck!

I need divorce and/or custody advice - We've been married about 14 months.  If it's over then any advice I can get would help, and I would be grateful. No children.

I just don't know which to choose.

I am crushed.  Devastated.

This is so hard!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[RolandOfEld]

Hi HypnoticGuy and welcome! Regardless of where you should be posting, you have definitely come to the right site in terms of finding a supportive community.

I can see you are a deeply conflicted place and know that place too well. After seven months of being here I'm sometimes not sure where to post myself. 

I would say don't worry about choosing your board just yet and start by telling us more about what brought you here. What BPD traits does you wife have and what led to the separation?

~ROE 

[Speck]

Welcome, HypnoticGuy!



I wanted to take a moment to join RolandOfEld in welcoming you to the discussion forums. I'm so sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other. From what you have written, it seems clear you will get good ideas and support here if you continue to read and post. In short, you have found the best place in the world for understanding, compassion, and education as it relates to coping with loved ones who have personality disorders.

Thank you for sharing with us what you have thus far:

I just don't know which to choose.

I am crushed.  Devastated.

This is so hard!

I am so sorry you are faced with this. Even so, I just have to applaud you for being willing to continue to put forth effort into understanding your wife. In my opinion, that's true love. This site is rather HUGE, however, there are many, many articles related to bettering your relationship with the angle of using healthy communication techniques, setting needed boundaries, and validating what is valid. You will find these articles in the right-handed panel on this board. We can help you with questions, point you in the direction of additional resources, or just be a sounding board.

Tell us more about yourself and your story. It helps you to get it out, and it helps others when they see that they are not the only ones suffering. We look forward to hearing more from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck