The fear of abandonment is being triggered, both by making your own decisions and also by becoming healthier physically, financially, and mentally/emotionally and growing independence.
she refuses to get help for her issues. What can I do?
You have to keep doing what you've been doing. Sometimes, the only way to communicate that we aren't abandoning them is to simply ride it out and give them time to see, we are not abandoning them. You can't do anything about her getting help -it's not uncommon for pwBPD to never admit they need help, seek out help, or accept anything told to them during therapy. It seems to take an exceptional therapist and a very open-minded, self-honest pwBPD to make "help" work. So focus less on what she does or doesn't do as far as getting help - in fact, try to radically accept it may never happen, and just be very happy if it ever does.
Words are cheap on both sides - they distrust our words especially if our words don't match their emotions, and their words are based on a feelings=facts mindset, which means things shift like quicksand.
Your actions need to show that you can love her, care about her, not abandon her, and still be healthy and independent. Your independence feels very invalidating to her. Are there things you can do to show steady affection without being enmeshed into each other?