What are the chances of an engaged BPD to return?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

i mean in general, not just with exes. you say you are "people pleaser". that has a certain connotation for accommodating others at the expense of oneself.

codependency is much bigger than being a doormat or not being able to say no.

have a read through of our article here, see if any of it (it probably wont all) hits home: https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships

I mean I try not to let anyone down, and at times I do end up putting their needs at the expense of mine. Some stuff does hit home I must admit, but for the most part I just feel like the same way a NPD and a BPD is a bad combo, so is a people pleaser + BPd, i have been working on putting my needs first but its a struggle. At times I do feel guilty for ignoring her but, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to her and then the feelings come back and I dont want to be mean to her. I tend to isolate myself from conflicts; and its worked for me. Thoughts?

[Struggler123]

i mean in general, not just with exes. you say you are "people pleaser". that has a certain connotation for accommodating others at the expense of oneself.

codependency is much bigger than being a doormat or not being able to say no.

have a read through of our article here, see if any of it (it probably wont all) hits home: https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships

I mean I try not to let anyone down, and at times I do end up putting their needs at the expense of mine. Some stuff does hit home I must admit, but for the most part I just feel like the same way a NPD and a BPD is a bad combo, so is a people pleaser + BPd, i have been working on putting my needs first but its a struggle. At times I do feel guilty for ignoring her but, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to her and then the feelings come back and I dont want to be mean to her. I tend to isolate myself from conflicts; and its worked for me. Thoughts?

[once removed]

I tend to isolate myself from conflicts; and its worked for me.

how so?

[Struggler123]

how so?

For example, if my Ex wouls get mad at me, I would listen to her and once she was done, go out to exercise for a few minutes and then when I got back call her back. If there was a demand that I couldn’t fulfill, rather than argue with her and justify it I would just say okay lets see and then take it step by step. I would never lose my composure, even in other case scenarios in which a fight or argument would ensue I would pick the easiest and noble way out. I’m not saying I dont make mistakes I do, but I try not repeat them, a friend for the longest time thought I was talking to his gf, and in a group he said somethings but rather confront him I just stayed put until he spoke to me himself and realized that it wasnt true. I like to let people figure things out instead of having to justify myself because no one wants to listen to explanations when they are in their own mindset, I thought that would work with BPD as well but it was given as a sign of not caring enough and that nothing matters to me