A good book recommendation for my BPD sister

[nevermytwin]

Hello all, I am new to this group and am hoping to get some support and guidance.  My sister who is one year older than me has BPD.  Years and years of jealous rage, moods, stepping on eggshells, anxiety about her, demands on our relationship, etc.  So last week she went into a terrible rage because I hadn't called her and she felt neglected.  For the first time ever I was able to separate my feelings from her problems.  I listened, told her it was inappropriate to call me names and told her I loved her and we would talk when things were calmer. (I've done a lot of reading). The next day we had a LONG talk and I told her that I feel she has BPD and has never gotten the right help.  I was supportive and read the 9 indicators and she agreed with all of them.  I would like to get a book for her so she can learn about this condition, without it making her feel badly about herself and maybe feel hopeful that with the right therapy she can function better.  She is married to a much older man who is not well and I fear what she will be like when he passes and she is along.  I have reached out to a DBT group in her area and awaiting a call back.  Thank you all so much.

[Harri]

Hi nevermytwin and welcome to the board.  We have a lot of posters here with siblings with the disorder so you are definitely in the right place.

You did an excellent job with setting limits on the phone with your sister.  Even better that she took it so well and was receptive to a conversation about her possibly having BPD.

I did go through out list of book reviews to find a hopeful book directed towards people with BPD.  I came across this but I have not read it so I can't say whether I agree with the review or not.  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68398.0

I know you said you have read a lot, I assume about BPD .  Which books or articles were the most helpful?  We have a lot of articles here as well but he best benefit of this site is to post your own threads and reply to others so you can build a support network.  I find it very helpful to bounce things off the other people here.  They always support me and definitely challenge me in the best ways.  We get it here.

I hope to see more of you around and if I come across any more appropriate books I will post a link.  Take care.

[Panda39]

I have not read the book Harri suggested but I did read another book by Valerie Porr geared towards family members vs someone with BPD, and I wanted to say that I found her book for family members knowledgeable but also very compassionate.  I'm sure that compassion would come across in anything she writes.

Panda39