Think about it from his point of view. You havent discarded him, so what is there to lose by him keeping you on his line?
Well the last time I was the one who ended it, because it was so clear that he was only using me for the company and wasn't interested in having a relationship with me anymore. But I found it a very difficult decision to make and he helped me with making it (saying things like "Why don't you just choose for yourself?", so he knows that of course.
If he manages to get what he wants, it didnt take more effort than a few texts or calls when he feels like it.
He won't though. I really hope I'm strong enough that he won't.
I dont call that "crazy" I call it a good strategy. Ive came across PD people before, they all had one thing in common, no shame in trying, where others might have, even if it would appear in socially unacceptable ways. What has he got to lose, if you turn him down hes got a phone book of others. It sounds like he is just pressurising you for sex and using that as a hook, he already knows that you believe he has cheated on you, so hes not going to put himself through a r/s again where he knows you will have that question mark over your head about him.
Brush the whole "feeling sorry for him, hes probably got BPD", if I described what your going through to anyone else they would simply respond "yea hes a player". So far thats all that his behaviour so far has amounted to from what youve written blooming. Giving him a get-out-clause label by an idea that he just cant help what he is doing I think is stretching it.
Do you mean that you think that he doesn't have BPD? But you're right, it shouldn't be an excuse. Especially because he doesn't want any help. Otherwise it might have been a different story. Still sucks though. I know what a wonderful person he is and can be underneath all that negativity.
As far as being treated as garbage but then having contact here and there, yes its not very nice, but over time you sort of get used to it. By staying in contact it is an non-written signal to him at the same time that you are seemingly happy to tolerate it, so its less guilt on his part. (assuming he actually feels any at all in the first place)
Also right. Yesterday he was talking again and again how guilty he was feeling that he gave me scabies (and before that herpes, even though he doesn't have it himself, was via a cold sore on his lips) and that he was so sad about it and he just wanted me to be happy. But he hasn't expressed guilt about cheating (because he denies it).