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Author Topic: Why Do BPD’s show behavior that is manipulative?  (Read 733 times)
Turkish
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
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« Reply #30 on: May 27, 2018, 10:07:16 PM »
Excerpt
The other day this girl I was seeing was asking me why I’m always so reserved and its unfair that I don’t speak out my feelings it makes the other person feel unwanted and how its disrespectful to engage in a conversation and try multitasking, and how its a turn off.

Who is saying it's unfair,  you or the other person?
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Struggler123
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« Reply #31 on: May 27, 2018, 11:06:29 PM »
Quote from: Turkish on May 27, 2018, 10:07:16 PM
Who is saying it's unfair,  you or the other person?


The other person, she gets annoyed at me at times because she feels i dont give her enough time and affection as she gives me.
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Turkish
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Dad to my wolf pack
« Reply #32 on: May 27, 2018, 11:25:02 PM »
I wouldn't completely invalidate her feelings on this, but you are who you are,  yes?
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Struggler123
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« Reply #33 on: May 28, 2018, 12:37:56 AM »
Quote from: Turkish on May 27, 2018, 11:25:02 PM
I wouldn't completely invalidate her feelings on this, but you are who you are,  yes?

That’s true, but sometimes I feel like maybe the introvertness, keeping my feelings to myself and being affectionate all the time is a turn off to women. I feel like it gives the idea that im playing hard to get when im just trying to figure out if the new girl really does like me or she only likes the idea of me (a temporary image). Its weird, I know.
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once removed
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« Reply #34 on: May 29, 2018, 11:52:56 AM »
Quote from: Struggler123 on May 27, 2018, 09:13:04 PM
i’m on not at that stage yet, I know there will be a time when I get to that stage, but until then I feel like this helps me

thats okay Smiling (click to insert in post)

we split up the Learning board (for the latter stages of detachment) from the Detaching board (first two stages of detachment) so that members in the different stages of Detachment arent posting at cross purposes with each other, or pushing too hard too soon. Learning is about challenging ourselves and others as we learn more about human nature and the lessons we want to take into healthier relationships - im directing that at everyone, not just you.

Quote from: Struggler123 on May 27, 2018, 11:06:29 PM
The other person, she gets annoyed at me at times because she feels i dont give her enough time and affection as she gives me.

Struggler, you are grieving, and your heart is understandably probably pretty guarded. a lot of us go through this. you might want to open up a separate thread (on this board - this is a board for continuing relationships and dating) and discuss more about whats going on with your relationship.
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BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Why Do BPD’s show behavior that is manipulative?
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