Has anyone noticed different Health symptoms during rs with pBPD vs After rs?

[CryWolf]

Hey everyone, my post might be a bit coincidental but I believe some others may have encountered this or wondered about this as well. So feel free to share your thoughts and experiences!  

During my r/s wiith my pBPD, I would get sick quite often. I would get the flu, or some type of virus. There was a moment during the school semester where I was constantly coughing, wheezing, runny nose. My professor took notice of this. She asked me to go to the hospital the 3rd week of school. I didnt due to my healthy insurance being terminated, and she took notice a month or 2 later and brought up how if I didnt have insurance there are other options. She opened up my eyes about how sick I became, and I realized I have never been so sick before. I missed a lot of days in that class and luckily my professor understood.

My immune system was always immaculate vs other people... My family, friends would get sick but I did a good job of not getting sick. However, once with my ex, I felt constantly sick, tired, anxious. My cortisol levels were haywire. I had constant mood swings. Im not blaming her in anyway, but It made me wonder if it was due to the constant stress, fight or flight taking a toll on me and leaving me depleted. That my body didnt have enough to fight off viruses/attacks.

My ex, one day even asked me "why are you always sick?" and I couldnt answer it. I didnt know.

After the breakup, havent really got sick. *knocks on wood* Maybe besides some allergies, but I feel great. I work in the medical field and so far I've been doing a good job of not getting sick.  

[Cromwell]

I was strong as an ox, I never got any serious illnesses during the r/s, but what I hadnt noticed was the stress building up in the background. I never realised it because each time I did, id then be with my ex and it was like getting a shot of morphine. I was running on pure andrenaline most of the time, riding through the drama.

yep, stress; the silent killer

[spero]

Hey CryWolf,

I suppose there is a certain level of correlation, I certainly realised i was more on the edge, symptoms on my body was appearing. I couldn't sleep well, couldn't concentrate, i was mentally really worn out and physically tired and almost headed toward depression.

So i'd say my body had been functioning so much on adrenaline and the cortisol levels were just shooting up which naturally creates health problems for us. At least that is my take on why my personal health took a toll with my uBPDexGF.

Yours,
Spero

[Shawnlam]

Hey everyone, my post might be a bit coincidental but I believe some others may have encountered this or wondered about this as well. So feel free to share your thoughts and experiences!  

During my r/s wiith my pBPD, I would get sick quite often. I would get the flu, or some type of virus. There was a moment during the school semester where I was constantly coughing, wheezing, runny nose. My professor took notice of this. She asked me to go to the hospital the 3rd week of school. I didnt due to my healthy insurance being terminated, and she took notice a month or 2 later and brought up how if I didnt have insurance there are other options. She opened up my eyes about how sick I became, and I realized I have never been so sick before. I missed a lot of days in that class and luckily my professor understood.

My immune system was always immaculate vs other people... My family, friends would get sick but I did a good job of not getting sick. However, once with my ex, I felt constantly sick, tired, anxious. My cortisol levels were haywire. I had constant mood swings. Im not blaming her in anyway, but It made me wonder if it was due to the constant stress, fight or flight taking a toll on me and leaving me depleted. That my body didnt have enough to fight off viruses/attacks.

My ex, one day even asked me "why are you always sick?" and I couldnt answer it. I didnt know.

After the breakup, havent really got sick. *knocks on wood* Maybe besides some allergies, but I feel great. I work in the medical field and so far I've been doing a good job of not getting sick.  

In my case I was at the peek of my physical health before I met her (besides the army days).I was a 6 day a week weightlifter and runner when I started dating her , After 3 months  the stress started to kick in (mostly anxiety)and I went from 208lbs ripped to 227lbs fat as I had no energy to exercise it was all being used up by my brain matter.I also developed a runners rash as we call it but the dermatologist said looked like a stress rash ,he was correct .Rash is slowly going away now and I’m back down to 215 since I started my weightlifting,running and boxing again.Stress in my opinion in the number 1 killer out there and my last 9 months on this planet was more than enough.

[WindofChange]

Yes, definitely! Over four years I had gained 20 pounds. Last fall, after months of terrible anxiety (I was even developing nervous tics--never had that in my life!), I started running to find some relief. It helped with the anxiety, and I have managed to lose 16 pounds. I also had this itchy red dermatitis and breakouts on my face (I'm now almost 50), which could have been partly due to my age and hormones, but since it's going away now, I feel a lot of it was due to stress. I lived every day for months and months in a state of anxiety and heartache, because of ex's hateful treatment (rages, then silent treatment, then acting as if he hated me). It made me a basket case.
Now it's been two months since I moved out, almost 3 weeks of (mostly) NC, and, although I'm sad, I don't have all of that stress anymore. It's a HUGE weight lifted. I'm still struggling with some depression, but I consciously recognize that as a phase that will pass, part of processing through this r/s and starting to heal. I read on another thread something about part of DBT involving radical acceptance, and I've been practicing this: journaling and saying to myself that I accept that the circumstances are what they are, that I could not fix him, that I did all I could, and that we will no longer be together, ever. It's been painful to write out, but freeing.
The stress of this type of r/s has serious effects on all involved. Good for us that we are on the other side and working through the healing process! 

[Harley Quinn]

Good topic CryWolf!

I can very much relate to what WindofChange says about becoming a basket case.  Not only did my physical health go to pot but my mental health most definitely.  I was a wreck.  Sleep deprived, constantly in a state of heightened anxiety and depressed as you like.  I barely fed myself and had started smoking.  I too, as Shawnlam states, was in peak fitness when I met my ex and within a year had quit going to the gym and stopped taking care of myself.  I went from being happy, calm and confident to the total opposite. 

Would you say looking back that a lot of your self care and nurturing activities that make you happy went by the wayside?  This can contribute hugely to our health and resistance to illness. 

Love and light x 

[MeandThee29]

I have digestive issues that come-and-go. Very clear triggers related to my emotional state.

[The Cat in d Hat]

Great topic, and has been covered a number of times in past as well.

Medically it’s proven that mental stress can lead to physical ailments. Your nervous system gets affected the most, which in turn wreaks havoc on the rest of your systems (cardiovascular, GI, etc)

In my own case, over the span of my 2 month encounter, my BP medication increased 4 fold. It was doubled once during the first devalue phase, and then doubled again during second/discard.

[WindofChange]

This is a delayed response, as I've been on a family vacation (much needed!). Harley Quinn, I agree that self care went by the wayside, as things became so bad and I kept trying so hard to fix the r/s. He didn't like for me to see my friends, always accused me of seeing other men, so after a while it was just easier not to see them than deal with the inevitable arguments. I lost my self confidence, lost my sense of self. I was wrapped up completely in him, his moods, etc. He would even accuse me of going to meet up with another man when I went to work out at the little gym in our complex where we lived. I told him he was always welcome to come with me, but he never took me up on it. I look back and think, how ridiculous was that? Why did I put up with it for so long? It just comes on so gradually, all the little changes from the "honeymoon" phase to... .how it was in the end.

But most definitely, all of the stress contributed to anxiety, depression, chest pain. I seriously began to be afraid staying with him would make me have a heart attack eventually. I read an article about the long term consequences of having a BPD relationship and the author listed a bunch of cases where people ended up with heart attacks, cancer, and other health ailments after years with a pwBPD. Obviously, that was just her theory and her own case studies, but I think most of us who've gone through the fallout from this type of r/s would agree that it negatively impacted our physical and mental health.

[Wend1206]

YES! The stress of it all made me sleep horribly for months, which would then make me have no energy to go to the gym(was going 4x a week prior) but didn’t gain weight because I was So tired and stressed I was Eating crap... .distracted, making little mistakes at work, forgetfulness, irritability, my stomach was in knots, and upset stomach often. Now I feel A world of difference!
I’m convinced even my dog suffered, they can sense things like fear and stress. Now that he’s gone she really seems happier - rolling around in the grass when we are playing with her ball outside, being very good when I have Her loose and off her leash, very
Obedient and wanting to please her mama. I thinK my stress was
Definitely bothering her