Learning to live with adult child child with BPD

[Poppy04]

My daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD. She is an adult child who lives with my husbannd and I and her newborn baby. The problem I am having to learning how to set boundries with her as I feel like she uses people and will not help out around the house. When we try to talk with her about issues she explodes and it is hard to get anywhere with her. Any advise?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi Poppy04 and welcome to bpdfamily

Setting boundaries can definitely be challenging, yet this is a crucial element of dealing with a BPD child. Your daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD, what led up to her getting this diagnosis?

What do you consider her most difficult or disturbing behaviors? You mention her not helping out around the house and feeling like she uses people. In what ways do you feel she uses people?

We have some material here about boundaries and limits that you might find helpful:

Communicate boundaries & limits

Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits

Take care and again welcome to our online community

The Board Parrot

[Merlot]

Hi Poppy04

Along with Kwamina, I welcome you here.  Kwamina has led you to some interesting topics on the board.  Another great way to learn is from others' experiences.  Without seeming self serving, I have pasted a link to my post below as I came here in crisis under similar circumstances to yourself and there may be some learning for you in my journey as boundary setting was a challenge.  With so few words, I can really understand what you are going through, and I'm glad you are here.

Given your daughter is living with you, setting boundaries will be very important.

Please make sure you look after yourself and we look forward to hearing more of you journey.

Merlot  

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=319195.0