Writing that inspires self reflection and personal growth

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi all,

I was at a mindfulness drop in Wednesday evening and at the end of a blissfully relaxing and grounding hour and a half, our teacher read this poem to us.  I thought I'd share and see if anyone else has read or heard any poetry or other writing which helped inspire, reinforce or motivate them in their journey of self discovery?

“Always we hope,” by Lao Tzu

Always we hope
Someone else has the answer
Some other place will be better,
Some other time it will all turn out.
This is it.
No one else has the answer
No other place will be better,
And it has already turned out.
At the center of your being
You have the answer,
You know who you are
And you know what you want.
There is no need
To run outside
For better seeing.
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being;
For the more you leave it, the less you learn.
Search your heart
And see
The way to do
Is to be.

Love and light x

 

[Harley Quinn]

Hi all,

I was at a mindfulness drop in Wednesday evening and at the end of a blissfully relaxing and grounding hour and a half, our teacher read this poem to us.  I thought I'd share and see if anyone else has read or heard any poetry or other writing which helped inspire, reinforce or motivate them in their journey of self discovery?

“Always we hope,” by Lao Tzu

Always we hope
Someone else has the answer
Some other place will be better,
Some other time it will all turn out.
This is it.
No one else has the answer
No other place will be better,
And it has already turned out.
At the center of your being
You have the answer,
You know who you are
And you know what you want.
There is no need
To run outside
For better seeing.
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being;
For the more you leave it, the less you learn.
Search your heart
And see
The way to do
Is to be.

Love and light x

 

[Harley Quinn]

I have another to add, which has been an all time favourite of mine.

"Autobiography in Five Chapters", by Portia Nelson

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... .I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Love and light x

[Turkish]

The way to do
Is to be.


I've seen that but didn't know the source.  Good stuff. 

I think it goes to being comfortable in your own skin.  Like valuing yourself for who you are,  not who you are to others... .my old sig line.

Being bullied from preschool on by peers and also by my BPD mother in retrospect, it wasn't until my mid 30s until I finally grew enough to be confidant. I had done ok career wise until that point,  but I didn't excel as I should have. In maybe 2003, my boss told me that a director in whose meetings I was in weekly (we worked on qualifying new processes/chips) fed back to him "Turkish needs to speak up more in meetings." ? Someone cared about what I thought? Didn't my written reports communicate things objectively?

I made a concerted effort to be more assertive.  It never quite clicked with me that I was a subject matter expert on many things. 

With my new assertiveness,  I attracted my ex.  I guess I still wasn't quite where I should have been,  fooled (myself) by a younger pretty person (a lot prettier than me)  who telegraphed so many 

Lack of self-esteem worth led me into that,  but that I should own. That had nothing to do with her really. 

Now here I stand.  I cannot do otherwise. 

[Mustbeabetterway]

I like this poem, simplistic, but hey,  uncomplicated sounds pretty good.

Be good to yourself—
You deserve it.

Take care of yourself
While you're here.
No one else can do it
Better than you.

Hold yourself up.
Don't be your worst enemy.
Nor a 'self hater, '
Like some love to do.

Live and enjoy life.
Look in the mirror and smile.
Believe that good things
Will happen for you.

Be grateful that you were
A candidate for life.
And let such gratitude
Show.

Make the best choices for yourself.
Exercise. Rest.
And eat properly.
For on such things the body thrives.

Love yourself,
And then you can love others too.
Serenade you with a song.
Honor YOU with a poem.

And like an old friend that you
Would visit every now and then,
Take care of 'yourself.'
For you shall not pass this way again.


by Walterrean Salley

[Insom]

Thanks, Harley Quinn, for this lovely thread.

Has anyone read Louise Hay?  I haven't yet though she's on my list because people in my community have been singing her praises lately.  She was a New Age guru in the 80's whose writings and affirmations helped a lot of people struggling with low self worth feel better. 

[Lucky Jim]

Hi Harley and Friends,

I like this quote by Shirley Manson, Singer for the rock band Garbage, which is an excerpt from her recent NYT article:

Today I try to remain vigilant against these old thought patterns.

I vow to hold my ground. I choose to speak up. I attempt to be kind, not only to myself but also to other people. I surround myself with those who treat me well. I strive to be creative and determine to do things that make me happy. I believe it is not what we look like that is important, but who we are. It is how we choose to move through this bewildering world of ours that truly matters. And when I struggle with my sense of self, as I often do, I summon to mind “The Layers,” a poem by the great Stanley Kunitz:

no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

And then I force myself to breathe.
Breathe in. Breathe out. I breathe in. I breathe out.

Thanks to all,
LuckyJim

[Harley Quinn]

The way to do
Is to be.


I think it goes to being comfortable in your own skin.  Like valuing yourself for who you are,  not who you are to others... .my old sig line.

I agree.  After all, it's what we think of ourselves that affects how we are and what we do.  That belief is responsible for so much in our lives, yet we can spend so much time preoccupied by what others think of us... .

Someone cared about what I thought? Didn't my written reports communicate things objectively?

I made a concerted effort to be more assertive.  It never quite clicked with me that I was a subject matter expert on many things. 

With my new assertiveness,  I attracted my ex.  I guess I still wasn't quite where I should have been,  fooled (myself) by a younger pretty person (a lot prettier than me)  who telegraphed so many 

I'd class this as a learning curve.  The lessons are the silver lining.  Those and your gorgeous kids.

Lack of self-esteem worth led me into that,  but that I should own. That had nothing to do with her really.

My thinking is the same regards my situation with dBPDex.  I entered therapy with a lot of goals and my T cut right to the core and decided to start with self esteem.
 She's good! 

Now here I stand.  I cannot do otherwise.

Some would be on their knees, others curled up in a ball and giving up altogether.  Standing is admirable and takes great strength, as my counsellor has reminded me on many occasions.  Be proud of what you've withstood and the self awareness you've gained in the process.

Thanks for your reply.

Love and light x

[Harley Quinn]

Has anyone read Louise Hay?  I haven't yet though she's on my list because people in my community have been singing her praises lately.  

I haven't read any of her books, but do know lots about her and her success.  At one point the thing that kept me from plunging into despair in the mornings was to read uplifting quotes and hers featured heavily.  I especially like some of these:

'Remember, you have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn't worked.  Try approving of yourself and see what happens.'

'I change my life when I change my thinking.  I am light.  I am spirit.  I am a wonderful, capable being.  And it is time for me to acknowledge that I create my own reality with my thoughts.  If I want to change my reality, then it is time for me to change my mind.'

'If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.'

'I choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life.'

I really must buy one of her books!  Let us know if you read her Insom.

Love and light x

[Harley Quinn]

I like this quote by Shirley Manson, Singer for the rock band Garbage

What a fantastic quote LJ!  It really resonates with me.  Thanks for sharing it with us.  Very inspiring. Do you keep it somewhere?  What does it speak to you about in your own life?

Love and light x

[Mustbeabetterway]

“As you turn inward and fall in love with the truth of who you really are, you become whole despite the brokenness.”
— CHLOË RAIN

This is where I am, turning inward and beginning to accept everything that has happened to me, for me, in spite of me.  It is surely a process, a journey. 

[Insom]

'Remember, you have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn't worked.  Try approving of yourself and see what happens.'

   This one made me smile. 

While wary of New Age in general for the typical reasons I'm eager to give Hay's You Can Heal Your Life a read because it's the one people keep recommending.  (Picking up at library today . . . )

[Harley Quinn]

I'm very New Age although I prefer to think of it as remembering what we always knew but forgot along the way and I think that reading the right material can really sway a person. Hope you enjoy the book. I'd be really interested in your views.

[I_Am_The_Fire]

I bought a few of Louise Hay's books many years ago per a prior therapist's recommendation. I still have them. Back then, I wasn't a huge fan of these particular books. It was mostly because I didn't agree with some of the affirmations. For example, I disagree that "the world is a safe place."

I haven't read them in years, though. I'll dig them out, go through them again, and let you know what I think now. Regardless, if the books don't help me, that doesn't mean it wouldn't help anyone else.

Have you tried looking for them at a library? That's what I do before I buy books. I'll check them out from the library first to see if it's something I want to buy.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey HQ,

The article is about her struggles with self-mutilation, yet the quotation speaks to me about facing my own challenges in the aftermath of marriage to a pwBPD.

I like the mindfulness aspect, that of remaining "vigilant" when we find ourselves slipping into old thought patterns.

I like the way she honors herself with her "vow to hold [her] ground" and "to speak up," which implies good boundaries and breaking the silence of victimhood.

I like her emphasis on being kind to herself (as well as others), a concept which has taken me a long time to get my head around.  Self-love sounds easy, but is actually pretty hard, at least for me.

I like how she says, "I surround myself with those who treat me well."  For years, I lived with someone who treated me poorly, admittedly due to a condition, BPD, that was largely beyond her control.

I like how she says, "I strive to be creative and determine to do things that make me happy."  Yes and yes.  I was unhappy for so long that I forgot how to "do things that make me happy."  :)oing something creative reduces stress for me.

I like her emphasis on what we do, and how we choose to move through this world, rather than on "what we look like."  I agree w/Sartre that action is what counts.

Finally, I interpret her focus on breathing as akin to mindfulness meditation, with its emphasis on one's breath.  Also, I love poetry and appreciate her reference to a poem that she finds meaningful.

Yes, I printed out a copy of that quotation and keep it nearby for reference!

LJ

[WindofChange]

Love all of the poems and quotes, and will definitely check out Louise Hay. Thanks for starting this thread!

Here's one I recently came across:

'Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone's acknowledgement or affection, you are enough.'

Daniell Koepke

[Harley Quinn]

Have you tried looking for them at a library? That's what I do before I buy books. I'll check them out from the library first to see if it's something I want to buy.

That's a good idea.  I will see if they carry any of her work.  Personally I have a bookcase crammed with stuff that I find inspiring.  M Scott Peck was a big favourite for some time.  Do you have any favourite quotes, poems or excerpts that you'd like to share?

Love and light x

[Harley Quinn]

And with or without anyone's acknowledgement or affection, you are enough.'

Daniell Koepke

Powerful words WindofChange, which really resonate with me.  Belief that we are not enough is a big one that affects so many of us on this earth.  I'm looking at why that is at present.  Thanks for sharing this great quote.  I will check out more from the author. 

What does it mean to you personally?

Love and light x 

[Harley Quinn]

“As you turn inward and fall in love with the truth of who you really are, you become whole despite the brokenness.”
— CHLOË RAIN

This is where I am, turning inward and beginning to accept everything that has happened to me, for me, in spite of me.  It is surely a process, a journey. 

I really like this, as well as the earlier poem you shared Mustbe.  These words are beautiful and so poignant.  I don't know anything about the author.  Do you? 

Wonderful to hear that you are going within.  May you find all that is worthy of loving kindness and acceptance.  It certainly is a journey and it's wonderful to be able to come here and see fellow travellers as we make our way.   

Love and light x

[Mustbeabetterway]

Hi Harley,  Chloe Rain writes a blog called Explore Deeply.  She’s an author, but I haven’t read any of her books.  I have read the blog and she has some interesting ideas about healing.

It is a true blessing to connect with fellow travelers on this journey.  Thank you for your good wishes.  Namaste

Mustbe

[Mustbeabetterway]

'Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone's acknowledgement or affection, you are enough.'

Daniell Koepke

WindofChange that is a beautiful quote.  Thanks for sharing it.

Mustbe

[I_Am_The_Fire]

I love Maya Angelou. Here are some of my favorite quotes of hers:

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."

"Nothing can dim the light that shines from within."

"If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude."

"Courage – you develop courage by doing small things like just as if you wouldn’t want to pick up a 100-pound weight without preparing yourself."

[Harley Quinn]

Thanks Fire, some good ones there.  I like her too.  She's out there a lot.  One of my favourites is:

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time

I really ought to have read that years ago 

[LightAfterTunnel]

Great thread... .

One of my all time favorites is “leaves of grass” by Walt Whitman.

There is an excerpt from “song of myself “ in which Whitman lists the everyday mundane people and work that he sees (for pages and pages) throughout the city. And then he writes one sentence... .

And such as it is to be of these more or less I am

I think he meant to show his brotherhood to everyone who makes the city work and flow... .everyone’s “interconnectedness”.

However, I’ve always personally thought about my BPDw and our long troubled history, and this sentence has always given me a sense of peace from a recognition of who I was at the beginning of the relationship, during my growth, and who i will always be in the future.

[Harley Quinn]

Thanks LightAfterTunnel!

You're right, that poem is huge!  I really like this part too, right at the beginning.  It pulled me in:

I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.

My tongue, every atom of my blood, form'd from this soil, this
air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their
parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.


Such powerful words and they bring to mind my own practice of mindfulness, which grounds me no end, just by being present in the moment.  It sounds peaceful to observe the blade of grass and feel connected to everything.  Thank you so much for drawing my attention to this.

Love and light x

[Lucky Jim]

Here's my favorite Whitman quote, from "Song of the Open Road":

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road.

Thanks to all,
LuckyJim

[Insom]

Thanks, HQ and I_Am_The_Fire for encouraging me to check out Louise Hay.  I picked up You Can Heal Your Life at my local library and can recommend.

I bought a few of Louise Hay's books many years ago per a prior therapist's recommendation. I still have them. Back then, I wasn't a huge fan of these particular books. It was mostly because I didn't agree with some of the affirmations. For example, I disagree that "the world is a safe place."

Yes, I can relate, I_Am_The_Fire, and agree.  I'm finding Hay authentic but difficult to read because she touches on self-worth stuff that can feel icky or primal.   Here's an example:

The Perfection of Babies

How perfect you were when you were a tiny baby. Babies do not have to do anything to become perfect; they already are perfect, and they act as if they know it.  They know they are the cent or the Universe.  They are not afraid to ask for what they want.  They freely express their emotions.  You know when a baby is angry - in fact, the whole neighborhood knows.  You also know when babies are happy, for their smiles light up a room.  They are full of love.

I love this and feel creeped out by it at the same time.  For me it touches core feelings of shame.  (Which is probably the point.) 

[I_Am_The_Fire]

Insom, I understand and can relate. I'm sorry to hear it brings up core feelings of shame for you. It did the same for me too which is probably why I haven't read them in a long time. I think it's good that you recognize it and maybe it's something for you to talk about with someone if/when you feel ready.