So my mom's agreed to treatment.. Now, therapist or psychiatrist?

[RJ2018]

Hello!

So I believe I've convinced my uBPD mother to pursue treatment. It's happening as the condition for her to come live with me for a little while while she gets back on her feet (I know, not ideal, but... .yeah.). And we sort of posed it as her "talking to someone" (like a therapist) on a weekly basis.

What I would like is for her to finally get diagnosed at least. I am almost certain she suffers from BPD but believe she could suffer from certain other disorders like bipolar, depression, and/or ptsd as well. Once she receives a diagnosis, I am hoping it will be easier for her, our family, and whatever medical professionals we enlist to start working towards having her illness/es treated and on a consistent basis.

But my question now is... .What is the best way to go about doing this? I've just called the local main behavioral health hospital and was explained how a psychiatrist would work with her versus a therapist. Honestly, I think she should probably see both, but if we have to choose or start off with one for whatever reason, any suggestions?

My concern with the psychiatrist is that they would mainly be concerned with med management and perhaps not considering or suggesting other, possibly more fitting forms of treatment (like dbt) or interacting with her outside of the context of what meds would be best for her. My concern with the therapist is that they may mainly "talk through her problems" and not keep in mind her greater likely disorder/s or therefore whatever related tailored therapy systems (especially if they don't specialize in it) or medications that may be essential.

Thoughts?

[Learning2Thrive]

  RJ2018

So I believe I've convinced my uBPD mother to pursue treatment. It's happening as the condition for her to come live with me for a little while while she gets back on her feet (I know, not ideal, but... .yeah.). And we sort of posed it as her "talking to someone" (like a therapist) on a weekly basis

I don’t have any expertise to offer on whether to choose a psychiatrist or therapist, but I wonder if you have considered what you will do if she moves in with you then changes her mind and refuses to follow through with treatment?

I believe she has already established a history of “tricking” you, right? Back in June you posted this:

... .I just helped my mom move back to the city I'm in after her trying out another state for the past four months didn't work out. I flew out there one-way and last-minute to help her drive back (16+ hours), paid for most of her gas and other things along the way, and had her set up for somewhere good to live here (not my place) temporarily, but when we get here and she finds out one detail of the place that isn't what she'd expected or preferred and instead preferring to stay with me for "just a few days,", she tricked me into letting her back into my apartment (after she'd already stormed out dramatically) by claiming to need to use the bathroom "before she goes" and then refused to leave, saying I would need to call the police to get her out.

Do you have a plan for what to do if she tricks you again?

You are worthy of having peace in your life. 

  L2T

[wendydarling]

Hello RJ2018
 
I've popped over from the son/daughter board to say Hi, I saw your post, my near 30DD engaged in treatment at 26 and is doing well.

L2T asks good questions, times have been tricky. I also hear you want to get off the rollercoaster, sliding doors.

So your mom's agreed to treatment, what did she say to you?

WDx

[RJ2018]

Learning2Thrive

Hello!

What you're saying is certainly a very real possibility and I have definitely thought about, considered, and have been concerned about it -- part of why I long couldn't bring myself to propose this idea to her. However, this was back when my brother and I were really not intending or feel that we could bring keystones l ourselves to have her involuntarily committed, even if worse came to worse. Well we've finally reached that point. A series of events have occurred recently that have made it clearer than ever to both of us that her only remaining hope is treatment. So we're going to start off trying to do it the easy (or easier :-/) way, with her pursuing it voluntarily while she gets to live with me and I'm able to pay closer attention to her following through, but if she gets here and switches it up or otherwise starts again acting erratically and abusively, to the courthouse for legal guardianship and a forced hospitalization we will go.

So yep, there is a plan in place. I'm sure it won't go the smoothest, but it's the best one have now, and we're ready for it.

[zachira]

You will probably need both a therapist and a psychiatrist long term. I would go the therapist route first, to see if your mom can do without the meds. Once on meds, it can be difficult to not develop a life time dependency, and meds numb certain feelings and can sometimes make therapy difficult to do, though sometimes meds make therapy easier especially with paralyzing depression. The key is to find the right therapist and psychiatrist. With mental health, the treatments vary enormously depending on who the professional is and what kind of treatments he/she provides.

[Learning2Thrive]

So yep, there is a plan in place. I'm sure it won't go the smoothest, but it's the best one have now, and we're ready for it.

I’m glad to hear this.   It’s good to be prepared just in case she goes that way again. Remember, safety is the most important thing.

Have you thought about your boundaries in this living arrangement? Having them well established in your own mind can help you remain calm and exercising your wisemind.
https://bpdfamily.com/content/triggering-and-mindfulness-and-wise-mind

Have you read through and practiced using these tools? I still refer to them often as new situations arisein my life (even nonBPD related ones).
https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating
https://bpdfamily.com/content/listen-with-empathy
https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries

Please keep us posted if you have time and want to. We genuinely care and hope everything moves forward in a healthy way for you and your family.

  L2T