Out of sight, out of mind ?

[rainbow287]

What's up guys. I was just wondering, if BPD is usualy out of sight out of mind, why do they come back ?

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[Radcliff]

What's up guys. I was just wondering, if BPD is usualy out of sight out of mind, why do they come back ?

Welcome back!  It looks like from an earlier thread this summer you had recently broken up with your pwBPD.  Can you give us an update?  Have there been any communications with her since then?

RC

[livednlearned]

Object consistency is complex and so are people with BPD, so I'm not sure it's exactly accurate to say that "they come back," if that makes sense, especially because "coming back" is not always literal.

Sometimes people "go away" in the relationship, through rage or some other kind of devaluation.

This summarizes the complexity (from Gundersen, a leading expert on BPD), "You're afraid to want things from me which you can't control."

It's terrifying to feel vulnerable, in other words. Defense mechanisms become activated.

Did your ex reach out to you?

[rainbow287]

No she did not reach out and I did not either

[Radcliff]

Can you tell us a little about how you have been doing lately?

RC

[rainbow287]

Been doing good, still think about her, but it's life I guess. My pride is not letting me contact her

[Radcliff]

It's been a while since the breakup.  As you look back, how would you describe how the breakup happened?

RC