Gratitude

[Gorges]

Hi,
I just wanted to give a shout out to regular responders.  I am very grateful for this message board.  There is more wisdom here than any book or therapist I have experienced.  There is not a one size fits all approach and it is mostly about coping the best we can with the challenge of having a child with BPD.

Luckily, yesterday my daughter saw a psychiatrist and was immediately diagnosed with BPD.  She has accepted this diagnosis and is seeking out a therapist who specializes in this.

I am not that hopeful because I recognize that this is a disorder that is very hard to beat.  But, at least she is accepting it and I am telling her the good news is that there are specific strategies if she chooses to follow them.

I am also grateful that I was able to get through the work week in one piece.   I was not sure I would make it!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi Gorges,

I second the gratitude and everything else you said about the wonderful people here.

I'm sure it is a relief to have an official diagnosis and I do understand how hard it is to be hopeful. We all must hang in there and take care of ourselves the best we can.

~ OH

[Lollypop]

Hi Gorges

I’m glad the diagnosis came and your daughter is open to getting support. It answered ques a lot of questions that my son kept asking himself internally. It took him quite some time to process. For us, it came without me ever hearing about BPD.

I love your topic title “grateful”.  You’re moving forwards together. Fantastic news.

LP

[Feeling Better]

Hello Gorges

I too am so grateful for this message board. I was desperate when I first arrived here and without the caring and supportive people here plus all the resources, I dread to think what state I would have been in now.

I am really pleased for you that your daughter is accepting of her diagnosis. It is a start and you can slowly move forward from it x 

[jones54]

When I found this board a few years ago it was a Godsend. Finally others would understand what I was going thru. So similar to Alanon. While my daughter has never really improved enough to my liking, it is still reassuring hearing from others who are living the same lives. Having a child with BPD (adult child now for me) has been the worst part of my life. I went to an Alanon meeting last night and the topic was Gratitude. I started to think that is something that I have forgotten since I have been so focused on my daughter I have abandoned my own personal life (which actually is not that bad ). Our BPD kids can consume us and make us forget there is so much else to live for. They have a way of overtaking everything (mine has for over 15 years). It is good to be reminded that I need to focus less on her life and focus more on my life.  Thanks for the reminder.

[wendydarling]

What a turnaround of a weekend from hell for you Gorges.    I'm glad your daughter received and has accepted diagnosis. I hope it's as helpful to her as it was, and is for my daughter.  Like LP I'd never heard of BPD and my DD also said it answered so many questions about herself. She reached out and read Mindfulness for Border Personality Disorder, Blaise Aguirre, which validated how she felt and gave her hope she could help herself.

I too am grateful for this wonderful resource and everyone's support, well said FB 'I dread to think what state I would have been in now'.  # METOO. I often think about that.

Thank you for your kindness, you rock Gorges. 

[Gorges]

Thanks, I just ordered the book and will use it for myself.  I feel that I have BPD tendencies.  But, because (for some reason) I have the traits of a strong moral compass and hard work, my BPD was directed inward. In fact, now that I think about it... .I had the beginnings of an eating disorder in at age 15, full blown around 16-17 and came out of it but had a bad relapse when I was 19 due to a stressor, caused by my own somewhat BPD behavior.   I have been pretty much symptom free since around age 21 but still had strong emotions and an intense personality.  Certainly, this intensity was brought to raising a challenging child, and her misbehavior was not always met with calm responses.

This is really the first I am communicating this, but I find it interesting that my daughter, who was always emotionally intense, started to exhibit the BPD characteristics outside of our home around these same ages.  Sadly, hers is more outward and a turn off to people in the community.  But, she had many more stressors in her life because she grew up with the internet, reality TV etc.

My daughter is away this weekend on a buddhist retreat.  She went this summer and worked for several weeks at the retreat center and it was a powerful experience.  This is part of the reason her relapse was so disappointing to my husband and myself.   

Umm, I think I will talk with her about my own experiences, and how interesting it is that the ages are about the same... .

[wendydarling]

Gorges ~ I hope you find the book helpful. It's amazing when we can come together, take down walls, you reflecting on your teenage years, memory relates. We likely have BPD ticks, fleas, traits. You have your moral compass, I bet your daughter is hanging on, to your skirt, right now   For me, my DD's diagnosis was a monumental meeting point for us, the new beginning, change.

I hope that for you  

WDx