Epiphany

[Cailin]

My hwBPD seems to turn everyone he meets into the same person, namely a son of a bitch or just a rejecting bitch. That fits his expectations of how he will be treated, namely hated and rejected. Any attempt on my part to point this out to him ends up catestrophically. Then it dawned on me, these aren’t simply just bad habits that can be corrected with feedback ( the way the rest of us “nons” modulate our own behavior in society so that we can fit in). It is WHO HE IS, it is just as much of his personality as his introversion or his conscientiousness. Hence the term “personality disorder”. DUH!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

My hwBPD seems to turn everyone he meets into the same person, namely a son of a bitch or just a rejecting bitch. That fits his expectations of how he will be treated, namely hated and rejected. Any attempt on my part to point this out to him ends up catestrophically.

can you give us some examples?

what does he say about these people? what is the context/circumstances of how he meets them?

what do you say to point it out to him?

[Cailin]

These are excellent questions, thank you! I want to formulate an articulate and cogent answer, it will take me a bit to think about it. My first response, though, is to say that it will be easier to describe his behavior with family, but it’s like that politician who said “I don’t know how to describe pornography but I know it when I see it”.