New to board. I've been struggling for many years.

[Mamaw2]

My first post . I have been struggling with my adult daughter for Many years . It has been very difficult at times . I’m hoping to find others who struggle with similar issues . Thanks !

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi Mamaw2 and welcome to BPD Family!

You've come to the right place to talk with other parents, so glad you found us.

What behaviors are you struggling with the most?

I look forward to getting to know you!

~ OH

[Lollypop]

Hey mama

Nice to meet you! My son is 28 and a quiet BPD in that he internalises his anxieties. Being on this forum has been wonderful for us. I’ve learnt a new way to interact and improve my communication skills. I hope you find your way around here. Any problems then just ask!

LP

[Mamaw2]

My daughter rages at me only for the most part generally when she is stressed .she also calls me up to 12 times a day and expects that I drop everything to talk to her . Many other issues but the worst by far is that she threatens to not let me see my grandson frequently when she is angry at me . So very complicated as I’m sure all of our stories are !

[Only Human]

I can relate to the raging and withholding of grandchildren, Mamaw2. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this from your daughter.

My daughter is 25 (DD25) and her son, my only grandchild, is 4 (GS4). They've lived with me (this time) since 4/2018 and I found BPD Family in 9/2018. As was the case with every other time she had lived with me, we'd gotten into our same old habits of dysfunction; her rages and my rescuing and being wishy-washy with boundaries.

I walked on eggshells to avoid her moving out and withholding my GS from me as she'd done (briefly) in the past. Like Lollypop said, finding BPD Family has been wonderful for me and, indirectly, for my DD. After reading and posting here, and with the help of my therapist (T), I've become stronger and more confident when I'm communicating with my DD and things have improved. I'm also learning all I can about BPD and learning compassion and empathy for the ways she struggles.

That's a bit of my story, and I don't mean to imply that it's been an easy journey, far from it. I hope by telling you more about my experience that you will see that there is hope.

There are a lot of great articles here and I encourage you to read all you can, keep posting, read and post in other threads, we all support each other and learn together.

I thought of this article when you mentioned the 12 phone calls a day - that must be exhausting!

Communicating Boundaries

I'm also going to put this link here, to a thread that's pinned to the top of this board, HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE It's got all of the site's best articles, but there are many many more!

Do you have any support in real life? A therapist?

I hope you stick around, there's real value in sharing and learning together.

~ OH

[reachinout]

Hi,
I am also new to this site and have struggling for many years. Some days I used to think "oh there is my "normal" child, but for years I have known there was an undiagnosed mental illness. My daughter is 34, divorced, with an 8 year old son. Her son also suffers from major anxiety probably from watching his mothers behavior all these years. Her unpredictable behaviors. Her lack of follow through, her crying in bed, her anger and rages then her apologies and round and round we go.
These past 2 weeks she has taken a bunch of pills, got admitted to a crisis center, hated it and wanted to go to a private plan. Manipulated her way in and out of ER's until she got her way and wound up where she wanted to be. She loved it there and stayed 5 days. She is soo happy now thinks she is cured, but doesn't realize the amount of destruction she leaves behind.
That is why I am here. I am hanging on by a thread and walking around in a fog. My husband is not her father and his kids are perfect, haha.
Hopefully, we are here for each other reaching out to one another for support.

[Mamaw2]

So sorry you are going through this ! My daughter is 32 and has been having issues since she was early teens . It is so hard ! My husband sees in black and white and has difficulty with dealing with her . It is so very hard ! My grandson is 9 and I’m sure will have lasting effects of all of this