"What are you staring at?"

[Depression = 72% of members]

Just got to work, the short 10-minute drive was ruined by him yelling at me for not being able to tell him what I was "staring at" while driving?

Here's what I remember:  Looked behind me, backed out of the driveway, noticed him looking at our yard decorations still out, felt bad but I'm sick, again, can't put things away in the rain anyway, noticed trash bin needs to be filled tonight since tomorrow is trash day, road is clear both ways, put car in gear, silly light on dashboard is always on but is likely the weird electrical things the car does anyway, not serious, annoys me, put car in gear, gently, it's felt a little sensitive when shifting, drove forward... .suddenly he's grilling me about "what are you staring at?"  I don't recall sitting there staring at anything, certainly not for any length of time.  bear in mind, he insists I am staring at things all the time. Usually him. mystery things (when I'm not even looking at them, I am reading, looking at something else, whatever).

He claims I stared at a "spot at the neighbor's for at least 30 seconds."  I didn't?  Nothing stood out to me at the neighbors, and I have no "lost time".  I admit I have a "foggy thinking" issue at times with my migraines and have had one pretty bad going from some weather shifts plus I've had a relapse, I'm back to being pretty sick, 100+ fever every day for about 3-4 weeks.  But I can't believe I say there, zoned out for like 30 seconds in the middle of the road.  I think many of us run on some autopilot in the mornings? 

Anyway, fun drive to work, basically I am a liar because I am a woman who just likes to lie and pick fights over this. 

Now, he's on edge, we go see his MD today for his quarterly check up, we know it's going to be poor numbers because he's not been exercising or watching his sugar.  He's been testings, it's been high.  He's on edge over a few things he wanted to do months ago, but now he's committed and doesn't want to do them anymore.  And, he's sick, too. 

I just don't need to be yelled at this early.  I already feel like crap, and am trying to get in to see a second MD to get me over it.  6 days on antibiotics I should not have a fever anymore, but I always seem to.  I think he's a bit mad at me for being sick, for having migraines. 

[isilme]

Just got to work, the short 10-minute drive was ruined by him yelling at me for not being able to tell him what I was "staring at" while driving?

Here's what I remember:  Looked behind me, backed out of the driveway, noticed him looking at our yard decorations still out, felt bad but I'm sick, again, can't put things away in the rain anyway, noticed trash bin needs to be filled tonight since tomorrow is trash day, road is clear both ways, put car in gear, silly light on dashboard is always on but is likely the weird electrical things the car does anyway, not serious, annoys me, put car in gear, gently, it's felt a little sensitive when shifting, drove forward... .suddenly he's grilling me about "what are you staring at?"  I don't recall sitting there staring at anything, certainly not for any length of time.  bear in mind, he insists I am staring at things all the time. Usually him. mystery things (when I'm not even looking at them, I am reading, looking at something else, whatever).

He claims I stared at a "spot at the neighbor's for at least 30 seconds."  I didn't?  Nothing stood out to me at the neighbors, and I have no "lost time".  I admit I have a "foggy thinking" issue at times with my migraines and have had one pretty bad going from some weather shifts plus I've had a relapse, I'm back to being pretty sick, 100+ fever every day for about 3-4 weeks.  But I can't believe I say there, zoned out for like 30 seconds in the middle of the road.  I think many of us run on some autopilot in the mornings? 

Anyway, fun drive to work, basically I am a liar because I am a woman who just likes to lie and pick fights over this. 

Now, he's on edge, we go see his MD today for his quarterly check up, we know it's going to be poor numbers because he's not been exercising or watching his sugar.  He's been testings, it's been high.  He's on edge over a few things he wanted to do months ago, but now he's committed and doesn't want to do them anymore.  And, he's sick, too. 

I just don't need to be yelled at this early.  I already feel like crap, and am trying to get in to see a second MD to get me over it.  6 days on antibiotics I should not have a fever anymore, but I always seem to.  I think he's a bit mad at me for being sick, for having migraines. 

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[Ozzie101]

Stress seems to bring on the dysregulations, doesn't it? I know it works that way with my H. A day with a full agenda, an upcoming trip, a doctor's appointment -- all of those can send H into a "mood."

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this, especially while sick. When we're sick, we want people to be understanding and sympathetic. We're also at a more vulnerable place and less able to deal with problems and chaos.

Like you, I feel like H gets mad at me for having any kind of physical problem -- for instance, if my cycle kicks in at an inconvenient time (he's told me he wants me to get a hysterectomy -- like it's simple), if I happen to catch a cold, if I get a kidney stone (last summer -- with complications). Initially, I'll get sympathy and caring. But eventually, he'll lash out at me over something having to do with the illness or problem. Very hard to deal with their problems during normal times. When we're feeling ill? Ugh.

I certainly hope you can get in to see someone who can figure out what's going on and can help you get better. Weeks of fever just shouldn't happen.

 

[isilme]

I put in a question to the 2nd opinion site our work offers, asking what I need to ask a MD so I can get it cleared up - doctors in this area are far and few between, and horribly over booked.
 Yay, South Texas.   No one wants to stay here in small, rural, not quite border towns after going to med school.

I think I might have walking pneumonia, but hell if I know.  I am just tired of having increasingly strong antibiotics thrown at me that don't seem to work.  I think I run a fever almost all the time, now.  I don't know if it's tress, or what else it could be, can't usually get an appointment without a 2-3 month wait.  Walk ins take about 5 hours or so. 

He's still ignoring me a bit.  Tried a morning message, nothing too emotional, but he's not responded yet. 

Yes, he gets frustrated when I am ill, tired, and I know a lot of is it toxic shame at the fact he can't/won't help me around the house.  He's been poking, trying to start things for days.

He tried to start a fight over the fridge being too full on Tuesday... .he believes that somehow things have a set place forever and won't shift, ever when you want something from the back - he could not see his pickles.  He got immediately mad, wanted me to go sort it, I had to be like, - it's a mess, I am not fixing it now, it will be fixed later when I have time and energy, so please stop it.  Surprisingly, he got quiet and left it. 

[isilme]

and now I can't tell if he's busy at work, or just ignoring me for lunch, or both.