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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Christian Discussion: Husband's role in decision to join a church  (Read 1021 times)
formflier
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« Reply #30 on: January 22, 2019, 09:37:42 AM »


I suppose the other odd thing about being asked forgiveness is it made me realize I haven't asked my wife for forgiveness for anything (and sadly... likely won't ever again) because the last time she laughed, used the Lord's name in vain and created a totally wacky story about what I was actually asking about.

That's an example of "adding more God" and our relationship being odder.

With less God our relationship is much calmer.


Sad.

FF

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« Reply #31 on: January 22, 2019, 09:49:57 AM »

FF,

Faith is an off topic with W. She believes in a unicorn warped version of faith that wraps more around what she wants/wants to believe than what is taught. I can never believe in her version of Christianity and not agreeing with her in totally invalidating for her. She cannot accept my beliefs and concludes "I don't know God like her".

She spent some time trying to convince me to go to an Alpha course (UK Christianity exploration course run nationwide in small groups). I've no interest in changing my christian beliefs to align to hers. Most if not all discussions in the past have left me thinking "what the heck?". Its like we've been watching different films in the same cinema.

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Fian
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« Reply #32 on: January 22, 2019, 09:54:54 AM »

My wife and I have some wacky Bible conversations too.  She takes verses from the Bible that talk about not offending others to argue that since I have offended her, I need to change.  Obviously that is a loophole that you can drive a truck through, so I have resisted which makes me a bad Christian.
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formflier
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« Reply #33 on: January 22, 2019, 10:23:59 AM »


Oh... .anyone ever get the "you are misinterpreting" the scripture?  Now... realize the delicious part of this is my wife believes in "plain reading" (which I do as well)

So... .let's take  the "do unto others verse"

She used to try to use that all the time to manipulate me into changing.

So... .back when she would open the Bible and read with me I would ask her to consider the "offense"... .let's say moving the laundry along without asking her first.

She does that (or did that) all the time.  I didn't care.  Yet if I approached laundry and they were both finished, I  would move it along without asking her because I didn't care and I thought "Biblically" about it and realized if she didn't want me to do that, she would apply scripture and realize she should treat laundry... .the way she wants me to treat laundry"

So... .que the discussion.  She would claim that I don't like her to move laundry along without asking... so I should always ask.  (anyone see projection here?)  I would clarify that I was fine either way, but 100% agreed with her that Biblical was the best way to go... .and that I was fine either way.

She would get frustrated and blurt out that she didn't like it when I moved laundry along, without asking.

So... I would ask her how the Bible would guide her to change my habits.  (long pause) 

You are supposed to "love" your wife... so you change... .she would say.

I would direct her back to the verse she first raised... ."do unto others... ."

She would sneer and say she didn't know... .

I would ask ... "Wouldn't that suggest you deal with the laundry in a way that you would like me to deal with the laundry"

With exasperation... ."No... .you are misinterpreting God's word... ."  and she walked away... .refusing to discuss the Bible or claiming I was "too harsh" with her... .

Pretty comical actually... .

And also sad... .

FF
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #34 on: January 22, 2019, 10:41:31 AM »

Staff only  This thread has reached it's maximum length and is now locked. You are welcome to continue the discussion by opening a new thread.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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