My Niece

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello - my 16 (nearly 17) year old niece almost certainly has BPD.  I am a licensed therapist myself, so I know that she cannot technically be diagnosed with BPD until age 18.  However, she has been a very challenging child for as long as I can remember, and my gut tells me that she has BPD. Talking to my niece a few days ago, she told me that her therapist thinks she has BPD as well.  The past 6 months have been hell - and it's been horrible seeing my brother suffer as a result of my niece's behavior.  Having said that, I have been doing lots of research for my own info about her, and my clinical practice, and I am finding more compassion.  I understand now that it is a neurological condition, and symptoms are often present as young as age 5 (they were).  I understand that it is largely genetic. I want to try to move toward my niece, not away from her, as I have been doing for years.  I hope that belonging to this forum will help me  with that. Thanks.

[therapistaunt]

Hello - my 16 (nearly 17) year old niece almost certainly has BPD.  I am a licensed therapist myself, so I know that she cannot technically be diagnosed with BPD until age 18.  However, she has been a very challenging child for as long as I can remember, and my gut tells me that she has BPD. Talking to my niece a few days ago, she told me that her therapist thinks she has BPD as well.  The past 6 months have been hell - and it's been horrible seeing my brother suffer as a result of my niece's behavior.  Having said that, I have been doing lots of research for my own info about her, and my clinical practice, and I am finding more compassion.  I understand now that it is a neurological condition, and symptoms are often present as young as age 5 (they were).  I understand that it is largely genetic. I want to try to move toward my niece, not away from her, as I have been doing for years.  I hope that belonging to this forum will help me  with that. Thanks.

[HappyChappy]

Hi Therapistaunt

This forum focuses on BPD behaviour so you’ve come to the right place. The first thing that jumps to mind from your post, is that the younger someone is the greater the success they have in therapy. Theres a section on this forum explaining therapies available. The biggest blockage is someone with BPD accepting any label that doesn’t make them sound fabulous. So here again your niece is ahead of the game if she shares the BPD suggestion. That all bodes well.
 
The reason they don’t diagnose at that age, and forgive me if you already know this, is that  between 16 and 21 is where a lot of emotional development goes on, and hence its difficult to predict the adult, regardless of if BPD is present.

You mentioned its largely genetic. With NPD and most personality disorders, it also requires a certain type of upbringing, a stressful upbringing. BPD is a notable exception, where they believe around 20% didn’t have that upbringing, but that means 80% did. That said, BPD is often co-morbid with other aspects such as PTSD or other anxiety related illnesses. So reducing stress for someone with BPD is always a good thing. What aspects concern you the most currently ? Why has the last 6 months been so bad ? 16 is typically a stressful time for a child, could it be that ? Feel free to ask as many questions as you like. There's a great depth of experince on this forum, which I hope you can add too. Welcome to the forum. 

[once removed]

hi Therapistaunt, and

I want to try to move toward my niece, not away from her, as I have been doing for years.  I hope that belonging to this forum will help me  with that.

i can really appreciate that, and you have certainly found a community that will support you in that goal.

how is your relationship with her right now? you mentioned she told you that her therapist suggested BPD, so it sounds like there is a level of trust there.