A place for validation

[Zorrodog2]

Hello,
I feel like I am the only one who sees through the disguises and masks.  And he knows that, too.  And therefore I receive the whiplash of his unbalanced mental health.  He makes an impulsive choice and then I am to blame.  A say a word the wrong way, and it is me being the wrongdoer.  Therapists fall for his charm.  His family keeps pulling him back.  Our mutual friends are no more.  I am in an echo chamber saying "hello, hello, hello...does no one see what is going on but me?"  At times he seeks help, but it doesn't seem to be the times when help is needed.  It is taken out on me.  Therapists have turned on me.  How can I validate what I know is true?  I am an intuitive empath myself so I know it is about me setting my boundaries as well but is quite the challenge in the fits of rage and impulse that comes out of nowhere.  Just looking for some balance.  He is a good man.  A very good man.  He doesn't believe in himself.  I always have.  Looking for those who can say, I hear you, you are not crazy.  This is real.  Much gratitude.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Gemsforeyes]

Dear Zorrodog2-

I hear you.  You are not crazy.  This is real.

I’m sorry for the pain that brings you here, but glad you’ve  found us.  This is a very supportive community with people who deeply understand what you’re facing, and tools that can assist you in your relationship.

Mine, too is a good man.  A very good man.  And he knows I know, which scares him.  Almost like I hold the “key” to his secrets.  It’s too bad he sees me as a threat sometimes, because I’m the one who loves him good, bad, beautiful, ugly.  I’ll let him scream if it’s not directed AT me.  My knowledge keeps him both in my arms and at arms length, depending on where his head his...how he’s cycling.

Boundaries are good.  They’re for you, about you and your values.  And there are communication tools that can help immensely (at times).  Please take your time exploring the site and do some reading here.

Then please tell us more about what YOU need.  And perhaps some details about your relationship and his behaviors when they get out of hand.  This is a safe space to start getting it out.  I’m pretty sure you need that.  No post is too long.

I hear you.  You are NOT crazy.  This is real.  Please stay with us to help yourself.  You love this man.  Please love yourself enough to do this...

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes