What do you do to Care for Yourself?

[StressedOutDaily]

Curious as to what others here do for self-care.   

One thing I am doing is I have started reading novels again...before we had children I used to read a few fictional novels a week...but if I read one or two a year now thats a lot.  Most of my reading is work related or books about BPD, self help.   A couple of weeks ago I picked up a novel and re-discovered how it could take me far away... from the stress and worry. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Great thread topic! I love to read too
 My favorite genre is historical fiction.

[PeaceMom]

Healthy meals, exercise daily, some supplements like Magnesium, zinc, Vit D and fish oil, bookclub, and leaving myself time to daydream. These are critical as my T moved and I haven’t found one that understands the gravity of our situation so I’m currently my own therapist.  I try to keep in touch with as many healthy friends as possible. It has been tricky to figure out how to be with them and honestly enjoy their family successes and not be jealous. Good topic, thanks for asking !

[Only Human]

Great topic, thanks for starting this thread!

I keep regular standing dates with people I enjoy. My BFF comes Thursdays for lunch (I work from home most Thursdays) and we hang on Thursday and Saturday nights. Tuesdays are shared with two other friends, alternately. One friend's H waits on us hand and foot while we chat, the other friend comes here for Netflix binges.

I sleep in on Sundays. I have earplugs, stay awake late the night before, and try to stay asleep until 10. Then, I stay pretty much in my room until Family Dinner, unless it's my turn to cook.

I also love to read. My favorite genre is non-fiction; memoirs, true crime, etc. I haven't read a non-BPD related book in way too long. Think I'll make that a goal this summer.

~ OH

[StressedOutDaily]

Thanks for sharing...I am trying to find other ways to care for myself.  (and looking for things to encourage DH to try as well)
 
Yesterday I felt like a caged animal (which I know is not healthy and doesn't put me in a great position to deal with DD16 - who just recently has learned that I can not physically stop her from leaving the house and doing what ever she wants).   I was home all day, worrying - which didn't help my emotion regulation when she finally got home.   

It has been tricky to figure out how to be with them and honestly enjoy their family successes and not be jealous.

PM - I totally get this!  I am feeling very alone at the moment...trying to figure this out.  Most of the women I did stuff with have been Moms of my DD16's friends.  Her friends no longer include her, and neither do mine...I need some new friends! 

Think I'll make that a goal this summer.

OH - sounds like a great goal!  I had forgotten how much I love reading!

My favorite genre is historical fiction.

FHL - One of my all time favorite books is "Stones from the River" by Ursula Hegi

[livednlearned]

I have a metaphor I use for self care: a cup I work to fill each and every day. Sometimes I wake up and the darn thing is low, almost empty. I'll need more self care that day if I want it full.

Some days I almost feel like I have to fight for self care otherwise the cup will be bone dry by end of day.

SD22 is stressful in the morning, especially if she didn't sleep well. On days I'm dealing with the same thing, I put on headphones and do mindfulness first thing. That seems to help me from getting overly anxious or too problem-solvey with SD22 over whatever she's trying to sort out first thing in the morning.

One thing I also realized is that I feel better when I go out without my phone 

I see more, notice more, hear more, I'm present. Things slow down.

I tend to read books on my phone and that's the only thing I miss about leaving technology behind.

Like OH said, I like to hang out in my room, too, when I have a nice slow morning planned. Out of sight, out of mind 

And the thing about not feeling jealous of other people's family successes...oof. That one hits close to home.

One thing that can really help is to attend a NAMI meeting or Family Connections workshop -- they usually start with classes and then have a follow-up group for support. I was surprised how much laughing happened over things that only families with BPD loved ones could find amusing 

[PeaceMom]

We laughed like crazy people in our NAMI class and in our Families Anonymous group. Takes one to know one. Another thing that my T gave me for self care homework was to take daily sensory walks. These are also called “Forests baths” . We are hard pressed to find a forest in Texas, but I walk to a neighborhood lake the idea is to focus one one of the senses at a time for about 5 minutes. So you notice everything you “see”, then move on to smells, sounds, touch (like a tree trunk or breeze on skin). This is a great way to practice mindfulness.

[Swimmy55]

Forest Baths... I like that idea a lot.  I have a very hard time with mindfulness.
I also like reading,  aqua aerobics, yoga.  I love travel but it’s $$$. I used to do day trips and explore an area , like nearby towns or something.  I want to try roller skating . I did that back in my 20’s.  Thank you for this thread .

[SkellyII]

Curious as to what others here do for self-care.   

One thing I am doing is I have started reading novels again...before we had children I used to read a few fictional novels a week...but if I read one or two a year now thats a lot.  Most of my reading is work related or books about BPD, self help.   A couple of weeks ago I picked up a novel and re-discovered how it could take me far away... from the stress and worry. 

During the winter..mindless TV, no commercials (the dvr was a wonderful invention). Spring summer, reading with background music on my deck, or driving around in my convertible with the top down.

[Lollypop]

Hi

Self care has always been a problem for me and still is.

Improving my relationships is a form of self care for me. I need to have a deep relationship with my family. This forum and you reader help me in that aspect of self care.

I went into full time education because I was unhappy with my life. I look back over the last 5 years and see how it’s prepared me for my future life. I have not made the new friends I’d hoped for, but I have widened my connection to the wider world and spent time with younger people. I am less judgmental, more open minded and I think more fun to be around. I’m quite a serious, intense person and have a tendency towards the negative. It’s been a painful, stressful and obsessive experience but I have grown considerably. I am more self aware.

My mindset is now ready for self care. Does that make sense?

I finish my degree in the next 2 weeks. I am eager to make a start on self care.  What does it look like?

Well, 4 stone thinner for starters!  
Time...this makes me feel warm all over...more time.

With time, I can do almost anything. I can tell you already it’ll be planned to death, packaged neatly and be overly  ambitious. I can’t change my nature. These are my failings.

I struggle to balance out stress-free with my need to be stimulated. Currently, I’m exhausted. I mean really...

I’m reading : Oak and Ash and Thorn by Peter Fiennes - slowly!

These are my aims (bearing in mind I’m starting from Zero!)

Less : phone, alcohol, stuff in my life
More : time, healthy eating, exercise, reading, days out, making art and sustainability

I’ve already started to clear out my wardrobe and have plans to tackle the loft. See how I plan to fill my extra time?  What I need to do is

B r e a t h e

And repeat.

In a forest. Or a canal. Or in a garden watching the bees.

LP

[StressedOutDaily]

 

I finish my degree in the next 2 weeks.

   

LP congratulations! 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Congrats Lollypop!