Mod Note: part 1 of this thread is here https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=332124.0;topicseenSorry about the long absence. I am here to give update.
Sorry, but i need to write a lot to explain all the developments.
We had 2 / 3 good months. We traveled, splept togheter sometimes, etc. minor honey moon phase. Some minor fights. She was rough with me sometimes but i could handle it reasonable.
We fighted much less.
She had an health issue on her uterus. Possible cancer. I paid her medical debts and helped in a lot of another issues. The problem was solved few time ago.
Around May, i started working a lot and couldn't be with her much time. We couldn't sleep togheter in my house because i woke up too early for her, and we didn't slept in hers, because she said she was always grooming her bedroom, for weeks (wtf?). I started do get suspicious.
Plus, i never believed that she had let her ex- move into her house for 2 months in our last break-up and didn't get involved with him. I think she recycled him e and i think she recycled me after that. Sometimes i gave her notice of my concerns, sometimes not in the best manner (sending her texts).
When we hanged, always at night, because of my work hours, she never brought her mobile phone with her.
Sometimes i getted a little distanced of her, and feeling ambiguous (as before). Part of me wanting to be with her and part of me don't. I was starting to think in the possibility of having other women, but never did. I guess some of my behavior reflected my feelings, don't know. Anyway, she seemed more distanced as well. But it depended on the days / phases.
3 weeks ago, she invited me to dinner, she did some makeup and dressed for the ocasion and she was very beatiful. The dinner went very well. Very romantic, in her favorite restaurant. She said that we fighted a lot and that was a pitty, because she loved me and wanted to be with me. She said she wanted me to ask her in mariage and have kids pretty soon. We kissed, laughed, etc. She asked me to never text her with negative textings i sometimes did.
Next evening, we dated again. Everything was fine, but then she caughed my phone and wanted to see my calls and texts. I showed her, but i wanted to see hers too. She didn't have it (again). I said: You can see mine, but i never see your. Why? If you want to be with me, this relationship has to be more balanced than it was before. And i dropped her home.
Next day she said she would bring the mobile phone with her. And it was ok for me.
But two days after, i saw her instagram and noticed that she was following her ex- in his new profile, when she said she never had spoken with him again. I texted her saying that i couldn't trust in her anymore. And that i couldn't be with her. Next morning, i apologized and said it was an outburst. She said it was ok. But i still feel suspicious that something wasn't right.
Then i had a strange dream. I dreamed that i was in a table with her, and there it was another man and she was giving more atention to that man than to me. I rose up from the chair and get away. The she went somewhere else and she died. When i was there to see her, she was a very big snake. A dead snake. All the people we know were there and said "Finally! She deserved!"
I interpreted this as her death in my life, and she presented her truth self (the snake, as a treacherous and opressive being). But we were speaking normal at that time, despite she seemed to me as a little bit hurt with my last texting. Two days later, she called me and asked my help. I went to her. She needed money and other things. Then she thanked me and hugged me and kissed me.
In the days after, she became very distant, without replying to some of my texting and replying to others. I thought she was still hurt and tryed to be nice with her, inviting her to do stuff she liked, apologizing, etc.
She said we could go to cinema one of this days.
I asked if she had someone else, she said "no". And i asked her "Is this over between us, or do you think we can make up?". She said we cannot hurt each other anymore and that she just wanted to be with herself now.
Next days i continued to text her and call her. As the days were passing by, she was more and more close (or so it seems). I always contacted her in a positive stance.
Then, 5 days ago, i called again, and we spoke for about 15 minutes in a positive manner.
I thought "Well, this happened a lot before. She is hurt, but getting better"
That night, i went to Facebook, and i don't know how, i visited her profile. She had a new profile photo, and for my surprise, she was in a relationship with another guy, since 7th july (after that we still kissed and she asked me for money). It was a shocking moment for me.
She was with this guy while she was still with me, and all my suspicious turn out to be true.
I texted her asking how could she be with someone new when she said she wasn't and didn't tell me, making me a fool. She didn't respond till today (5 days later).
