New Hope

[Penny123]

Hello All, After spiraling downhill emotionally and physically for years, my 74 year old, diagnosed BPD Mom bottomed. It's by the grace of God that she is still alive after her massive stroke which affected all of her left side. Hypertension, out-of-control diabetes, past renal failure, overtaking unprescribed opioids, and her out of control spending/financial debt left her near dead lying in her apartment for 3 days until I had the apartment manager unlock her front door. She had a strong heartbeat and that was enough to whisk her away to the nearest hospital. Over the past years, I tried to help over and over again but I was just met by anger and rage. Family (and the few friends she had) all knew something catastrophic was going to happen and it did and oddly, she survived.                                                                     I thought I would never have any resemblance of a normal relationship with my mom but I do these days. She is in a nursing home, can walk assisted now, and her many medications are under control. Her BPD ways still show their ugly head but she actually seems to trust me and we can laugh and enjoy a conversation. It's still alot of work and I had to show restraint by basically ignoring the past. It's our second chance and I'm taking it. For how long, only God knows but I wanted to share this glimmer of light at the end of the turbulent tunnel. Miracles do happen.

[Harri]

Hi.   

I am sorry to hear about your mom's stroke but happy that you have been able to improve your relationship with her.   Sometimes after a stroke, I have heard that there can be some personality changes, sometimes for the better.  Do you think that might be at play here too?  Regardless of the cause, I am glad you have the opportunity to interact with her in more positive ways.

What are you doing to keep the past at bay and hw are you coping with all of the changes?

[Penny123]

Hi Harri, good questions. I don't think my mom's personality has changed since the stroke. Living in a nursing home (communal living) has forced her to behave more appropriately. She also is very dependent now and she depends on me except for her basic needs. I can break away from the past because I'm busy with the present.