I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I have know for a while now that she has BPD. I have been riding the roller coaster of emotions and trying to help her because I thought that I would be able to. I really just want some support to making sure that I can stay strong with this break up.
Be wary of "I don't understand; everything was fine" kinda messages trying to get you to come back.
Especially accompanied with a lot of "rewriting history" as we call it, where she will try to muddy waters that were clear in your mind, and convince you this was all your fault. and if you just hadn't done XYZ, she wouldn't have reacted, and now that you both know that, it'll be better if you come back.
If this happens, I would just not engage. Or else, write a letter stating your position, and ignore any responses. She can't argue with a letter.
some advice I rec'd after my divorce: If you feel any regret, or anger, and want to take it out on her, think twice. To a PWBPD's disordered thinking, anger is a sign you still care. It can actually be reassuring to them.
In contrast, if you stay silent and ignore them, it often makes them more distressed; they're stuck alone with their disordered thoughts.
I don't say this to mean you should intentionally try to torment her by playing games, but just remember that you two aren't going to be on the same page emotionally here, so it's better not to even engage
