Part 3: Update: She signed a lease. She's moving out in 5 day. I'm heartbroken.

[Stillhopeful4]

Maybe you can just reply to the texts she sends? 

That's exactly what I do. Everything else if I want to text her, I don't and write it in a journal that I hope someday she will read.

I'm praying/sending good vibes to you nightly.

Thank you so much Gadget ((Hugs)  I really appreciate it.  I'm going to add my BPD board family to my nightly prayers as well!

[Enabler]

Gadget, there is a lot that I can empathise with about your last couple of posts, especially about what you T mentioned about being super Dad. I read in some of her messages to other people (don't ask) that "I made her feel terrible, like the worst person ever." I'm sure I questioned some things but I didn't realise till recently that my very existence of being a competent individual made her feel terrible... strange thing is that she'd destroy me for any steps out of line of laziness so I just continued to up my game... now I reached the top... that made her feel bad!

[gadget]

Enabler,

I hear you.  Seems we are punished or collateral damage because we did handle "life" things well?  So that they didn't have to handle things.  So strange.  So backwards.

Gadget

[Stillhopeful4]

I'm sure I questioned some things but I didn't realise till recently that my very existence of being a competent individual made her feel terrible... strange thing is that she'd destroy me for any steps out of line of laziness so I just continued to up my game... now I reached the top... that made her feel bad!

Enabler,

I totally get this.  My wife says similar.  If I say anything she takes it as criticism and apparently has been doing so for years and built up a lot of resentment. She also says things like I don't know how to forgive you and move past all this hurt you have caused me ("all this hurt" being I snapped and said a few nasty things...yet I've gotten past her cheating multiple times).

I'm worried about his weekend.  My boys will be with their dad and I will be alone.  I need to find something to do so I don't go crazy thinking too much.

SH4

[Enabler]

What is the worst possible thing that might happen if you go crazy thinking?

What if you did go crazy thinking and then came through it better than you went in... would that be a good use of a weekend. Sitting with the agony. Would you do it again next weekend if it moved you closer to moving forwards?

[Stillhopeful4]

What if you did go crazy thinking and then came through it better than you went in... would that be a good use of a weekend. Sitting with the agony. Would you do it again next weekend if it moved you closer to moving forwards?

Enabler,

THIS is a GREAT point!  Thank you so much for this bit of wisdom.  I need to focus on getting me healthy. 
I really appreciate all of your advise!  I don't know how I would have got through this week without you and Red & Gadget & Black Orchid.  Thank you all so much 

SH4

[Enabler]

Stillhopeful... you would have, you just would, you would have muddled through, that's what you've been doing for years.

I'm glad we could have been of assistance in clarifying your thoughts, it's a blessing to me that you have allowed me the opportunity to pass down the love and direction I have received from others here on the board. You have the inner strength to get through this and grow stronger... you're already gluing yourself back together bit by bit, all under your own steam. Be proud of yourself for that, build on it and be your own pillar of strength.

I have no doubt that you too will be helping others as I have already seen you do on other threads. That takes strength and power grrr after the week you've had. 

Catch you on the other side of the abyss. Enjoy the ride.

Enabler

[gadget]

We are glad to be here for you SH4!  And also glad you are here for us as well to listen to our stories.

I'm praying your weekend is good.

Gadget

[Enabler]

How did it go?

Enabler

[once removed]

This thread has reached its post limit and has been locked. The discussion continues here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339397.0