Hi Cat,
What do you think your experience would have been if your parents had divorced and you'd have stayed with your Mother?
Also, was you Dad happy?
I think my dad would have fought for custody. There was a time when both parents were trying to win my approval, asking me which parent I liked better.
My mom, when she was in a good mood, could be quite lovely. It wasn't until my teenage years that her BPD became so overwhelming--probably coincided with menopause.
My dad was emotionally self-sufficient, much like how I am. He made the best of whatever circumstance he was in.
Together they were like oil and water. Over the years, my dad retreated further and further from her.
Watching the dynamic between the two of them gave me a skewed template for what a marriage is. I believe that led me to tolerate horrible behavior from my husband in my first marriage, thinking that I'd made a commitment and I just had to see it through.
