Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 12:55:15 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Life’s basically destroyed, she took the kids, I’m lucky to be alive.  (Read 388 times)
DAVDad79
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: October 22, 2019, 12:40:20 PM »

I lived a ridiculous movie plot where a BPD not only took everything and isn’t content, but abused the courts while I had to go to the hospital to successfully avoid prosecution, keep my kids; hide their abuses including molestation by her now ex; ruin my credit, and force me to leave so I didn’t have to defend myself and end up in jail. She used the town police department choice of lawyers (that is- the very office the PD goes to), and then also a former intern of the US Attorneys office that became a state lawyer who then began freezing my account when I’d file with the courts. She’s a social worker/ former co worker I used to be a volunteer alongside when I did crisis hotline volunteering.
Now, I had to leave the area after three years trying to get courts, CPS and pd to do something, even after the person she left me for got arrested for attempted kidnap and others came out about sexual assault by him; and mysteriously- my landlord began harassing me increasingly as I filed for federal removal from the state. Voila- eviction papers signed by her friends mother- manager of my former manager of property. Kids coerced/coached to not talk about molestation, pinchmarks gone by the time CPS came, attempted hit and runs tandem with filings, break and entering of my old apartment, friends who came over had vehicles broken into, houses broken into; won’t file charges and lost to me. I was staying with friends, vandalism, stalking behaviors killed those friendships too. I had to leave after 2 concussions within 5months; head to outside the area of madness.
I’m afraid after HIPAA violations to get enrolled in the VA where I’m at, afraid filing a protective order results in increased shenanigans again. It turns out even my family has been targeted- they live near enough her relatives and have had tandem occurrences to some of my incidents. I think the latest was an attempt to see if I’m here- I wasn’t at the time.
She’s a former drug and alcohol counselor who left to a health insurance company after her insulated position as subcontractor to a local mental health office was eliminated. Her behaviors seemed to explode more so at home and I couldn’t allow it as it was in front of my kids. She decompensated and went extremely paranoid of any friend I had, any run to stores; had me followed/ sought the creep she left me for. She had sex in front of the kids and when I confronted her about it- that was the pulling of all stops. Her family stepped in, searches all my possessions, found some of my notes- ransacked everything under the guise of “the kids need a room”... She threw a lantern at my back and caused a slipped disc to rupture, her Dad assaulted me, and I came back for the kids and to restart note taking. My fault- instead of filing, I tried to protect my kids before myself, and played into a deeper game of flying monkey vs target. I even tried reasoning with some of the people- mostly former clients of hers - who were in general mostly surprised I wasn’t afraid nor whom they were told I was. That’s when more violent turns occurred.
I could ramble on about it- and it would sound crazy- exactly the intent. Exactly what takes away from the timing of the offer to be a Peer Support Specialist for the VA, that almost stopped her tricks dead in their tracks. I am supposedly an unstable person- my TBI was the supposed thing that made me unsuitable as a parent or custodian- never mind 4 years of Mr. Mom and-Oops: I’d called the Sheriff after the attack that ruptured my disc, and MRI confirmed.
Nothing worked out even after court orders- she even tried to back over me 6months effort to get me to drop the DV truth. She got the last attorney who successfully blocked the DV and got a judge he could win by- and by then- 3ex parte denials; attempted hit and run, being harassed while walking; then enough incidents and increases to make picking up my children a safety concern for them. Three years basically wasted. I tried to make life better for them. It was for nought- I am restarting all over again, with the heaviest loss I’ve ever known. There is no low she won’t go, nothing reasonable can be made and no justice it seems. I’m even afraid to register for care with theVA here- after someone she was on a board of “Community Court” was obviously a VA employee- leaked info. I’m the biggest fool I know- and struggle with knowing my kids are in the “care” of the biggest monster I’ve ever met.
Logged
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18071


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2019, 04:06:58 PM »

My time is limited here now but I'm sure others will respond and make helpful comments.  My first thought is that your ex may have more mental health issues than just Borderline, do some research on Histrionic Personality Disorder.  Your ex's actions seem to be far more intense and extensive than even what we are used to hearing here.

Meanwhile it seems your priority now is to take care of yourself.  As is announced before every flight, "In case of emergency, please secure your own oxygen mask first before attempting to help others."
Logged

david
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4365


« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2019, 06:53:47 PM »

I would carry a camera or phone that records. If she ever comes near you turn it on for your protection. Remember to stay calm and press charges when the police arrive.
Logged

Grady
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 147


« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2019, 08:36:54 AM »

One thing to note is that in some places, it is illegal to film or record without prior consent.  My H did that back in January when we were having issues with BPD and his L got upset with him for doing it. 
Logged
david
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4365


« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2019, 01:00:53 PM »

My state doesn't allow it either. However, I saw no other way to protect myself. My ex accused me of assault and I went to prison for 10 days. I bought a video camera after that to protect myself. Ex would come out when I went to pick our boys up and I would turn the camera on. She u turned back to her place. In court, she always brought it up and I got yelled at by the judge. No other consequences. My attorney finally told me I needed to stop because one of these judges would do something. I thought about it and called my attorney the next day. I asked him if I pointed the video camera at myself would that be okay. The fact that my ex was on the audio cursing me out . My attorney thought he could argue that in court and told me to do that from now on. Also, I figured even though it can't be used in court it could be used when the police show up. If I did that before I would not have been arrested and jailed. You do need to be cautious about these things.
Logged

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!