Newly aware of BPD & very worried

[Lovethem3]

How do I say that after 20 plus years of difficult behavior on my daughter’s part, I have become aware of BPD? She’s always had issues with close relationships...except with me...& I always thought she just made poor choices in choosing those people.
Recent events caused me to seek therapy & after describing my daughter’s behavior the therapist said, “Though I can’t diagnose without seeing...she sounds like BPD” Huh, what’s that?
She’s high functioning & most people would not see any issues but (Like described) she has very difficult intimate relationships.
She felt rejected by her sister in the summer & blew up. She insisted she’d never speak to her sister or her family again. She’s  a divorced mother of two & her children think that the sister & family are “mad” at them & are very upset.
My granddaughter is showing signs of stress & is seeing a therapist(she’s 9). My daughter has been alternately loving/supportive or hypercritical if this child.
Now she’s added me to the list of people who supposedly lie to her but my biggest worry is that she feels that  her “whole family hates her & her Kids” . So worried what this will do to her children. Her ex has his own issues so he’s not available.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi LoveThem
Welcome to the group. I am glad you joined us. Your daughter's behavior does sound like BPD. You are right to be concerned about your grandchildren. They are lucky to have you as a stabilizing influence in their lives. Do you get to see them often?