Hopeful family therapy session

[Parents! Get help here!]

Thanks to all of you who are walking with me on this painful journey with my dual diagnosis BPD/addict son. I am happy to say that we have found some hope. It came about organically. My husband has been seeing a therapist for some time and has asked my son to come with him many times. When I was in Africa DS decided to do so. He really opened up with her about his feelings. There was some resistance to what she said about him needing to take some responsibility for things but he did here her. This week he decided to go again and asked that I come too. It turned out to be a great session. He talked about the pills he took earlier this week (a huge dose of oxycodone) which scared me. But the T did get him to promise to call her or me or my husband if he feels like suicide again. DS agreed he needs help for his addiction and made another appointment for an intake interview at a nearby facility that treats both of his conditions. He also talked about really wanting to stay out of trouble so he can successfully complete his one year probation and also about his plans to build up his legal business of selling sneakers. We all agreed that his needs come first so he can see the T as often as he likes and my husband and/or I will join him whenever he asks us to. I anticipate there will still be ups and downs but for the first time I see hope. I keep telling the members here that things can get better. It is time to tell myself. This is a tough journey we all are on but there is hope for all of us in the Bpdfamily.

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks to all of you who are walking with me on this painful journey with my dual diagnosis BPD/addict son. I am happy to say that we have found some hope. It came about organically. My husband has been seeing a therapist for some time and has asked my son to come with him many times. When I was in Africa DS decided to do so. He really opened up with her about his feelings. There was some resistance to what she said about him needing to take some responsibility for things but he did here her. This week he decided to go again and asked that I come too. It turned out to be a great session. He talked about the pills he took earlier this week (a huge dose of oxycodone) which scared me. But the T did get him to promise to call her or me or my husband if he feels like suicide again. DS agreed he needs help for his addiction and made another appointment for an intake interview at a nearby facility that treats both of his conditions. He also talked about really wanting to stay out of trouble so he can successfully complete his one year probation and also about his plans to build up his legal business of selling sneakers. We all agreed that his needs come first so he can see the T as often as he likes and my husband and/or I will join him whenever he asks us to. I anticipate there will still be ups and downs but for the first time I see hope. I keep telling the members here that things can get better. It is time to tell myself. This is a tough journey we all are on but there is hope for all of us in the Bpdfamily.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

It's nice to have some hope!

How long until the intake session at that nearby facility?

Best,

FF

[FaithHopeLove]

I don't know how long it will take.

[PeaceMom]

Faith,
I typed a long response and it disappeared! Now, I’m rushed, but wanted to join you in celebrating this victory!  Today, maybe you can simply be thankful with no other agenda for DS.
Yesterday, I told my new T about how much trouble I’m having Radically accepting each and every new issue my DD 19ubpd brings into our home. She said, “well, do you think you can just Radically accept HER?”  It was a profound question and I’m thinking about it on a deep level. She then reminded me of DD’s inherent value based on just being a breathing human, not based on anything she does or doesn’t do. Heavy, deep stufffor me to process.

I hope you are taking care of YOU!
Peace

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks, Peacemom. What your therapist said helps me too.

[zachira]

I admire and respect you for going to family therapy with your son. I am glad your son feels safe expressing his feelings with the therapist. As a parent, it must be painful at times to hear what your son has to say, yet you are willing to do this because you love him and will do what it takes to help him turn his life around.

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks Zachira
You are right. A lot of what my son has to say about me and his father is very painful to hear but we love him and we listen. Sometimes he idolizes us. Other times he sees us as monsters. Whatever we may think about it, his feelings are very real to him.

[zachira]

I admire you more than I can say that you and your husband love your son enough to listen to the times when you son describes you and your husband as monsters during the therapy session. It can help to remember that the negative and sometimes unreasonable blaming has to come out first before there can be any real productive changes. Your son is thinking outloud because he is not yet able to do the thinking by himself. You are seeing him making some meaningful changes in his thinking and actions, as he cleans out all the stuff that has been blocking his progress.

[FaithHopeLove]

I am convinced that every parent posting here is a hero. Loving a child with BPD is not for wimps!

[zachira]

Absolutely!

[Swimmy55]

 
This is splendid news!  I am so glad you shared this.  It is great you are willing to go to his therapy with him when he asks as that can't be easy.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Blueskyday]

Grear news Faith.
Just goes to show, you never know.

Keeping everything crossed and you all in my thoughts xx

[twocrazycats]

Oh, Faith, that's great news! It's a great first step. That must have taken a lot of courage for him to admit he needs help. He's taken a first big step in the right direction. And the fact that he actually asked to have you there is huge, too.

2CC

[Resiliant]

Hi Faith, just a quick note to say that I am so very happy for you and your family!  This gives me hope. 

[Harri]

Hi Faith. 

I just want to say I am happy for this positive turn.  Any step is good and this one is in the great category.   

And yes, you all here are heroes and have my admiration as well.

[wendydarling]

Faith this is wonderful news  I'm so happy the session went well and has given you hope DS is ready to accept, engage in treatment, he's booked himself in.

One step at a time 

WDx

[Trusting-waiting]

So happy and praying for you❣️

[FaithHopeLove]

Thank you for your prayers LolaB
I also pray for you and your daughter. One step at a time for all of us.