Borderline confusions with friends

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am quite curious if this is commonplace, or just happens to localized to people I've spoken with about my problems recently.

Literally every friend I've confided in had some really grossly incorrect idea of what borderline actually is. Almost across the board, to them they minimalized BPD into "being a little needy" to "having daddy issues" and "being a little depressed". With my medical history and mental illnesses I've studied some stuff, and even I was pretty poorly ready for it.

Do you guys often find people flat out dont understand the gravity of it? Why is awareness of it so low? Depression is being shoved around everywhere, but I cant recall the last time I've seen a PSA about BPD.

[Friend333]

I am quite curious if this is commonplace, or just happens to localized to people I've spoken with about my problems recently.

Literally every friend I've confided in had some really grossly incorrect idea of what borderline actually is. Almost across the board, to them they minimalized BPD into "being a little needy" to "having daddy issues" and "being a little depressed". With my medical history and mental illnesses I've studied some stuff, and even I was pretty poorly ready for it.

Do you guys often find people flat out dont understand the gravity of it? Why is awareness of it so low? Depression is being shoved around everywhere, but I cant recall the last time I've seen a PSA about BPD.

[Baglady]

In my experience, overall public awareness of BPD is nil and likely to remain so.

My exBPDh was actively psychotic for almost 3 weeks - it was a very public, florid, manic, mental breakdown - with very obvious atypical behaviors (v. public cheating, paranoia, burning through money, job loss etc.).  He ended up assaulting me and walking out on a decades long marriage.

My sister-in-law (v. smart, Phd) several months later after I valiantly tried to explain BPD to her posited the question "Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, he (my exBPDh) is just really unhappy?" 

Given the incredible complexity of this disorder and the seemingly increasing levels of ADHD-like inability of the average person to pay attention to anything for more than a nano-second before tuning out - I sadly expect no great understanding to emerge regarding BPD among the masses any time soon.
Yours cynically but warmly,
B

[SinisterComplex]

Sadly, the general public is rather willfully stupid when it comes to mental health. Regardless of educational background and accomplishments. I wish I could say ignorance was appropriate, but I digress...

Truthfully, I really wish people with mental health disorders were given better treatment options and our society as a whole was more on board with the notion that the worst injuries and illnesses are those that are invisible and buried within.

To answer your question bluntly, no the general public have no effing clue to the gravity of what BPD entails. Usually the reason why this is has more to do with the general ideal of it sucks to be you and oh glad I don't have those problems so then everything gets swept under the rug and pushed to the side.

BPD is very complex, but perhaps the one disorder that truly needs more attention is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You could make the argument that BPD is born from PTSD. From all my case studies, research papers, etc I have seen the link between comorbidity between ptsd and bpd. However, in my papers I have always taken the stance that PTSD is ultimately the root cause for BPD and other disorders. My argument is based on understanding how the hormonal cascading effect works. I mentioned in a previous post on this board about how DHEA is the mother of all hormones and I liken that ideal to PTSD as in it is the mother of disorders in a sense.

There are far too many armchair diagnoses and far too many misdiagnoses that happen and as a result people get even more effed up than they were originally.

We could get into discussing ADHD as well and as a side note...there are some rumblings that a large percentage of therapists have ADHD. Now whether or not that is true we will never know, but it is an interesting thought nonetheless and that has more to do with how the human mind works. For every deficit there is essentially a counter balance. For example, ADHD people to tend to be very creative and intelligent and they have a tendency to hyper focus...a paradox if you will. For all the press the disorder gets for its characteristic of lack of focus its hidden treasure is hyper focus/tunnel vision...many ADHD individuals will usually possess quite a lot of knowledge and be intensely passionate about certain subjects or topics most likely due to the hyper focus ;-) Essentially, once you study human behavior long enough you see plenty of recurring patterns and many paradoxes almost as if it has happened by design.

Perhaps one of the main reasons why awareness is so lacking is that the general masses put too much stock into titles and believe what most with Ph.D's say. Not to take anything away from accomplished professionals or those who have worked hard for their educational degrees, but I still see too many who are unwilling to take an unpopular stance and go against the grain so to speak. For example, I am one who will challenge the whole world all by my lonesome and I refuse to relent or back down...some may call that a defect since backing down just wasn't coded into my DNA, but for what its worth I don't think I could deal with just giving into popular thought. However, for every one of me there are a million who just continue to go with popular thought because it is easier to do so.

We can all hope for a better tomorrow and that more awareness will happen, but sadly it will move at a snail's place. I hope I live to see the day where people with disorders are given more of a fighting chance instead of being cast aside.

Cheers!

[Hidden Dragon]

We could get into discussing ADHD as well and as a side note...there are some rumblings that a large percentage of therapists have ADHD. Now whether or not that is true we will never know, but it is an interesting thought nonetheless and that has more to do with how the human mind works. For every deficit there is essentially a counter balance. For example, ADHD people to tend to be very creative and intelligent and they have a tendency to hyper focus...a paradox if you will. For all the press the disorder gets for its characteristic of lack of focus its hidden treasure is hyper focus/tunnel vision...many ADHD individuals will usually possess quite a lot of knowledge and be intensely passionate about certain subjects or topics most likely due to the hyper focus ;-) Essentially, once you study human behavior long enough you see plenty of recurring patterns and many paradoxes almost as if it has happened by design.

Sinister, very interesting. Let me show you how it looks like for me (btw are you maybe in the same team ;) ?)

I have ADHD (add) with hyperfocus. I am very emotional. I am also codependent b-c of my FOO. This combo made my relationship (especially the break up part) with BPD to hell. The hyperfocus is a gift and a curse. I dive in topics that interest me (and ONLY in such), everything else is not important. For me, in my life there is place for 1 big topic at time. I process the information very quick and seem to never get tired (until total exhaustion). I daydream about the topic, I ruminate all my life. This is something as you were on stimulants for longer periods, until you cant anymore and then replay (until finally you are bored and not interested anymore). I understood, analyzed, read it all, I am hyperfocusing and can't let go.. Actually it was a pleasure to break the code, I stayed to solve it, I love problem solving... Now I understand everything, I know every piece of this puzzle, but cant (or have massive problems to ) let it go and refocus. Yes I know that I need to refocus on myself, but my ADHD makes it very, very difficult.

As for the public: BPD is not so common as depression. Most people don't understand depression and BPD is so complex, it would need few hours of professional training to get the concept...
If you start from the scratch, then it is very hard to even think in such categories like personality disorder, so people have no idea.

[SinisterComplex]

LOL. No, I am not on the same team. However, at times I am sure it can appear I have ADHD...hahahaha. :-D I am very well acquainted with the disorder though as my nephew has it and my middle brother has it. My brothers are from my mother's first marriage and their father has it so it is something that runs in their bloodline. I have a different father so no genetic link.

Back on point about the topic in the thread...the general public couldn't care less about personality and mood disorders and typically because they are ignorant (I will be nice this time) they will just chalk it up to everyone has an illness or a disorder and that it is normal and there are no such things as disorders. In the general public you will typically run into a lot of school of thought that oh these supposed experts are just trying to put a label on everything and trying to categorize everyone.

A big problem I have is that because of technology and our so called social world what I see is a general lack in motivation to actually learn. Too many people want to have everything spoon fed to them. The information is out there, but you do have to put in the work to teach yourself and arm yourself with the knowledge. Oh I could go on about this topic all day, but I think I have covered enough and I do not want to cause fatigue here so I am going to serve myself a big tall glass of shut up now. LOL.

Cheers!

-SC-