Marsha Linehan on BPD and a failure to assert ones' self

[GaGrl]

For long-standing behaviors that continue to crop up and irritate, I think it's appropriate with an adult child to have a code of signal. I do this with my adult son -- he is Adult ADHD with Social Phobia, but I think he is actually on the spectrum. He gets enthusiastic about something and let's his voice get louder and louder. I have a hand motion that tells him " bring it down -- too loud. "How

Something like that has to be built on the adult child having recognized and owned the behaviors. If DD23 is working on these things in her therapy, it could work to have a signal or phrase to remind her that she is invading personal space. It would irritate me to constantly construct a way to communicate to an adult child with BPD a pretty simple message in a way that won't trigger her -- that in itself starts bordering on "walking on eggshells" - - when it's a well-established behavior that everyone acknowledges needs to be addressed.

The office situation is more complicated. Telling someone who fears abandonment that you won't be available takes some finesse.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

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