Hi.
My experience is do not take anything personally. If you can, act nonchalant.
Bpd are free from consequences. Consequences are not part of thought process.
She may be having an affair or an emotional affair.
Or it could be a friendship.
If you can be lighthearted, reach out in a tiny way without demand or questioning.
Do not over think this...
Suggest a fun time together, feeding the ducks at the park. Something simple.
Fly a kite. Paint rocks. You do want to create us-time, make it fun, lighthearted, not heavy.
Have an idea, like would you enjoy going with me for an hour or so, we can go and walk the dogs. (you fill in the blank with something she likes.)
Give her a choice, like Friday after work, or does Saturday at noon work better, I will get lunch for us...you know what she likes.
Be casual, fun, friendly...just show up being there, stable, dependable...
Do not let yourself get upset...you are creating a safe space, and you are taking leadership role...
No heavy talk. No serious topics.
Keep it short, simple, sweet. You suggest leaving at the time you said, you leave first.
Keep her wanting more.
Just take it one day at a time.
Your biggest challenge is maintaining your stability, dependability, and no upsets.
One day at a time. No upsets.