Marriage ought to be a source for comfort and consolation, not emotional daggers. Then real life inserts itself and especially acting out PDs (such as Borderline and other Cluster B disorders) can heighten the pain.
We're sorry for your loss. Besides her other mental health issues, your spouse is using Blame, Blame Shifting and verbal attacks to hurt and not to heal. Others will soon comment also but I'd strongly recommend you get consultations with experienced counselors or therapists who can help you deal with not only your
grief but also the marital discord and pain. Right now you're in a subjective state of mind and you'll surely benefit with objective perspectives from in-person sessions, in addition to our remote but excellent peer support. You can also search the internet for the Five Stages of Grieving a Loss.
