She sent me a cease and desist letter

[Thebiglimp]

Why? Because i sent her a careful email announcing she might have BPD. Her lawyer's reply is about an empty threat i made of using her naked photos (i really lost it that day regretably, but i didnt even have those photos. An empty threat). The lawyer cant even make a harassment claim because none of my communications amounts to that.

And this legal action is 4 weeks after i made that threat and several heartfelt apologies afterwards.

Which means my bpd claim really must have hit her nail.

Tbf its better she knows about it one way or another.

[daze507]

You basically did the worst thing you could have done to an undiagnosed pwBPD, telling them they are f*cked up (it's how she interpreted that). That was a foolish action.
She knows nothing, a pwBPD in denial will just refute everything and she is most probably considering what you have done as a personal attack and nothing else, thus the legal response.

[MeandThee29]

I'm sure you meant well, but don't do that again.

Now you know. That type of thing will muddy up your legal matter.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey biglimp, I concur with M&T and daze.  My advice is: don't engage in the drama.  Stay above the fray.  A pwBPD will attempt to draw you in through threats, bullying, insults, whatever.  You have control over your reaction so don't participate in the turmoil.

LJ

[Learning_curve74]

Biglimp,I can hear that you're frustrated and hurting, both very understandable reactions. I've been there myself!

At the same time, think of what you have to gain by telling her that you think she's mentally ill? Turn it around and how would you feel and react if she had told you that she thought you were mentally ill? It doesn't sound like she's in a headspace where she can even entertain the idea, and even if she is, do you feel like her reaction is what you were hoping for? What exactly were you hoping for?

It is very easy for everyone to escalate drama... However satisfying it is in the short term, what are your goals in the long term?

[Rev]

Adding to all of the great advice you have here...

Consider what grey-rocking looks like as you distance.

In the early days for me, before I needed my lawyer, it looked like this.

1) Text - six word answers.  72 hour rule before responding, as best as possible.  Or sometimes I just didn't respond.

2) Phone - no more that 5 minute phone calls. Deadpan voice, even if I had to fake it.

And on the end of it, I stopped talking to her at all, once the separation agreement was in place.  So the key is to back off... put the rope down... the quieter you become, the more rope there is. Eventually you keep the upper hand, as long as you stay quiet.

Good luck.

Stay safe.

Rev