How to encourage my wife with BPD to go back to get help

[rjn_88]

SO... maybe I'm wrong but my wife might be the most self righteous people I've ever met. It might be due to her BPD, it might be just the fact that she's a libra, or both. I have been in therapy for my own mental health issues for many years and my wife is new to her diagnosis (BPD) and new to therapy (DBT). She has been in family therapy before and done crisis based DBT. Due to the COVID-19 virus her DBT Groups have been moved to digital and her self righteous personality has led her to think that the online groups are worthless and not helpful and that she can help herself since she has been through the program before. While i do believe in her ability to help herself, I don't see her doing any of the work. Due to her BPD she can get triggered and set off so easily that I don't want to tell her I think she should be doing therapy. Honestly the last thing I want to be doing is tell this woman what to do or how to live her life because she will likely get set off. Even though she does that to me all the time, all i want to learn is how, as her spouse, i can encourage her to get help without her ripping me to shreds because she's triggered. Anyways, thankful for these groups, i'm sure I'll be back. BEST AND PEACE BE WITH YOU RJN

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Football2000]

Wish I could help you. Just chiming in to say I get it. I feel like talking to my partner is like speaking a different language on a different planet. The triggering thing is especially hard. Not sure what to do about that myself. I know a lot of it has to do with setting boundaries, and be ready for your partner to leave if you do set boundaries.

Honestly, that is my biggest problem. I love my partner and I am really scared I will never see them again, but despite that fear you have to be brave and set your boundaries anyway! I am still working on that though.