Trying to survive and keep moving forward

[brighter future]

@FindingMe2011,

I did love this girl, but looking back, I went about it the wrong way. Real love is not built on dependency. That's what most of our relationship was based on. Someone said on here recently that their relationship with their BPD-ex was kind of like an illusion, and I can identify with that statement.  I feel like part of my relationship with her was very real, while the other part was an illusion that was never really there to begin with.

She told me several times (and even in front of the kids) that I was her soulmate and the man of her dreams. She maintained that right up until the very end when I told her that we couldn't proceed with an engagement until we sorted out our emotional baggage. Five or so days later on the telephone after the breakup, she told me we were essentially incompatible, blamed me that she was alone and financially desperate, blamed me because she wanted me intimately and was doing without sex waiting on marriage/engagement, and told me that I dragged her down, etc.

Yes, while she's occupied with Mr. Rebound I'm trying to put myself back together. Her family member said it will be interesting to see if she starts to devalue him now that she knows he has no marriage intentions in the immediate future.  The only means which she continued to remain visible to me (besides visiting her parents next door to me) was through social media where she continued to like several of my posts and even comment at times. I removed her from my social media about 9 weeks ago and have not heard anything from her since. I've had a couple of people tell me that all of our profile pictures together and vacation pictures all remain on her page. I have deleted all of those photos from my social media. Maybe she keeps those there because I am a part of her collection of men...who knows.

[I Am Redeemed]

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