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Author Topic: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.  (Read 319 times)
Thanos

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42


« on: August 22, 2020, 03:42:03 AM »

Hi my fellow people, been some time.

Maybe some of you remember me, my old posts are archived.

Long story short. 10 months ago I made a hard decision to end never ending BPD cycle. ExBpd girlfriend blocked me from everywhere, fb phone etc. There been some charm attempts, few months ago she walked past me front of my house, I didn't say nothing, just walked past her. It made me sick, it was very hard. But end of the day, it is what it is.
Now 10 moths later, I was chatting on messenger. And one point her chat head came up, with a sentence "your decision to end our relationship was the best thing what happened". Like I said, I was blocked for 10 months. I didn't open message, just arhived it. I was laying in bed, shaking for 30 minutes. I think it made my post PTSD activate.
I had many things in my mind. Do I answer? What can I gain for it etc?
But then I asked myself. How long are you going to continue? You will be dead. The saddest part is, she didn't ask me how I am. She just wanted to make me hurt, again. She has new boyfriend (2 months in relationship) and I think she might be pregnant. That's why she sent me this cold hearted message.
But it still shows, I made right decision.
All of you, be brave, be strong, you can survive. The more you resist, the more you will be proud of yourself. There is only one of you, one life. Make it count!
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Cromwell
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2020, 08:04:15 AM »

Thanks for taking the time to share and update Thanos.
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grumpydonut
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 166



« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2020, 11:37:49 AM »

Someone who is happy doesn't look to drag someone else down. If she's contacting you, she's still thinking / feeling something for you.

It's as simple as "you hurt me, and now I have someone who loves me...so I win". But she doesn't win. She has BPD. Instability is right around the corner. If not naturally, then she will create it herself through self sabotage.
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Thanos

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42


« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2020, 11:59:51 AM »

Someone who is happy doesn't look to drag someone else down. If she's contacting you, she's still thinking / feeling something for you.

It's as simple as "you hurt me, and now I have someone who loves me...so I win". But she doesn't win. She has BPD. Instability is right around the corner. If not naturally, then she will create it herself through self sabotage.

HI Crumpydonut, I think we never talked. You are on point, thank you! I just can't belive it all happened and on some level, I feel for her. But that's on her, as she won't see her actions, what it does to others. And I feel for the guy, I know him through other friends. He is a good guy, a garegiver. Perfect candidate for her. But that's on him now, maybe he has to learn something, to not get somebody pregnant before you are sure about other person. End of the day, it's not my problem anymore. I'm building my life and health up, step by step.
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legalboxers
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 172


« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2020, 12:02:41 PM »

I was with someone for 5 months who destroyed me. My exfiancee took 10 yrs to ruin me, this one took 5 months. How do you build yourself back up?
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grumpydonut
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 166



« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2020, 12:25:38 PM »

Excerpt
How do you build yourself back up?   

Therapy. I am 9 sessions in, and I am learning plenty about myself. Break ups have always destroyed me, made me feel like less of a man, etc. Now, due to therapy I know why.

I also know why I allowed myself to fall for someone who displayed so many red flags (that I also saw at the time).

That's the benefit of this, legal. You have an opportunity to learn through deep pain and grief. A person with BPD rarely does, and she will just go on destroying herself in the process of life.
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grumpydonut
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Relationship status: Broken up
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« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2020, 12:26:00 PM »

Good to hear, Thanos. Sounds like you're in a good place.
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legalboxers
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 172


« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2020, 12:28:50 PM »

Grumpy: I havent gotten to that stage, Ive been in worse situations. I think I am ok. Trying. Its been 3 weeks. I should be ok...
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grumpydonut
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
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« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2020, 12:33:41 PM »

There's a reason you fell for someone with BPD. She filled something in you. Find out what that is, otherwise you will always be at risk of falling for someone just as unhealthy as her.
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Thanos

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42


« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2020, 12:44:41 PM »

Therapy. I am 9 sessions in, and I am learning plenty about myself. Break ups have always destroyed me, made me feel like less of a man, etc. Now, due to therapy I know why.

I also know why I allowed myself to fall for someone who displayed so many red flags (that I also saw at the time).

That's the benefit of this, legal. You have an opportunity to learn through deep pain and grief. A person with BPD rarely does, and she will just go on destroying herself in the process of life.

That's true, find some proffesional help.
I will add that, there is going to be days like in hell, where there feels like no hope. But there is hope, you just have to survive. One day you feel better again, then you will have some energy and motivation to go things you loved before her.
Just remember, there is going to be bad days, but there is going to be better days, more and more as you process your way back to reality.
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legalboxers
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 172


« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2020, 01:14:13 PM »

That's true, find some proffesional help.
I will add that, there is going to be days like in hell, where there feels like no hope. But there is hope, you just have to survive. One day you feel better again, then you will have some energy and motivation to go things you loved before her.
Just remember, there is going to be bad days, but there is going to be better days, more and more as you process your way back to reality.

I thought she was a good person. we connected on the most stupidest thing. A department store which does not exist! That is what brought us together. I feel my head is a smashed cantaloupe.
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Thanos

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42


« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2020, 04:05:22 AM »

Week later, blocked again.
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legalboxers
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 172


« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2020, 06:36:14 AM »

As I posted in other posts I survived worse. It’s been a month I’m ok. Her mother’s death anniversary is honestly heavy on me but I need to forget my ‘what would of been mother in law’ and just scrub my mind
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grumpydonut
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 166



« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2020, 07:13:04 AM »

Excerpt
Week later, blocked again. 


Hahaha, cannot help but laugh.
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